Falsity
by Just A Penniless Writer
Summary: A midlife crisis, a mysterious escort, and blackmail. What more could Lucius Malfoy need? PreHBP. LMHG
1. The Setup

**Falsity**  
_Just A Penniless Writer_

**_Disclaimer: _**Nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Plea:_** Silly and fun. The cotton candy of the Hermione/Lucius pairing. Contrary to thought, I have actually done some character research for this. Scary, huh?  
But yeah, I'm just screwing around here so don't hate me. The premise is silly and unsubstantiated, the characters will be OOC, and the plot…well, saying 'it'll never happen' is putting it lightly. And yet I still write because I felt there needed to be more comedy involving Lucius.  
Enjoy if you can.

_**Update:**_ Parts 1-4 massively edited and reposted 7.10.05

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**Part 1: The Setup **

It must be said that Trelawney had seen it coming. Of course, it was absolutely preposterous so no one had bothered to believe her, even when the pieces began to fall in place. She had merely mentioned at a staff meeting one day, shortly before the end of the war, that Lucius Malfoy was doomed. They had all assumed he would meet his fate in battle, but she was adamant that it was different.

"No, no, no… Mr. Malfoy is doomed to love that which he would hate...He is doomed to survive only to be scorned. My inner eye sees him living his life in domestic mediocrity," she said in her usual airy voice.

Minerva had laughed. After all, domestic mediocrity certainly had the possibility of being his worst nightmare, specifically if he achieved such with someone he had formerly hated.

"She will be his downfall and his salvation…" Trelawney had continued.

"Who?" Albus had asked with amused curiosity.

"Miss…Granger."

They had shared a good laugh during which Trelawney had left with a huff of indignation, claiming the negative energy was bad for her inner eye. When they departed the room later that evening, they had all but forgotten the prediction. Little did they know, it was even then taking shape.

**

* * *

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**8 Months Later…**

"Miss Granger, if you would have a seat, we'll begin the questioning," the Auror said with false civility.

"My name," she retorted with a saccharine grin even as she took the proffered seat, "is Madam Malfoy."

"As the legalities of your supposed marriage are still being questioned, you will be referred to during this session as Miss Granger," the Auror responded.

"Very well, but when it finally occurs to you that neither I nor my husband has done anything wrong, I'll be ready for your apologies."

The frigidness beneath the veneer of respect made the spectators cringe. They had always known the young woman was capable of such tones but had never been subject to them before. However, desperate times and such…and this really required explanation. Albus sighed softly. It was becoming more and more obvious that Hermione had been under no coercion, despite Minerva's fervent protests.

"Do you understand why you are here today, Miss Granger?" the Auror continued, nonplussed.

"I assume it is related to the _Daily Prophet_ article from yesterday which rudely announced my relationship with my husband."

"Correct. Due to Mr. Malfoy's dubious past, his former vocal protestations against people of your heritage, the obvious age discrepancies between the two of you, as well as the questionable nature of your relationship, the Ministry believes you have been coerced. What have you say to these charges?"

"Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. You have no legal right to keep me here, and I vehemently protest Lucius's jailing. I knew of my husband's past long before I became romantically involved with him. It may escape your notice that I was, in fact, very involved with bringing to light several of his past transgressions."

"And yet, he was released from all charges and never brought to justice for his participation with the Death Eaters."

"Yes."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"At the time -- miserable. At the time, I felt he deserved to rot in Azkaban. I didn't believe for a second that he had reformed."

"And what changed your mind?"

"I spoke with him."

"That was enough?"

"I realized how silly it was, sir, to form an opinion without first collecting all the facts."

The silent accusation filled the cold air. Even the crew from Hogwarts, brought along to corroborate her story and induce her to speak freely, flinched.

"Very well, Miss Granger, give us the facts. To begin with, how did you come to speak with Mr. Malfoy?"

She moved uncomfortably in her chair and the Auror seized on that with relish.

"Well, Miss Granger?"

Her cold demeanor dropped with resignation and everyone was instantly reminded of the girl she was and not the matriarch she represented.

"That would be the only part of the story questionable."

"How so, Miss Granger?"

"Because there is a small bit of blackmail involved."

A collective gasp.

"But," she continued in a rush, "it was all Draco's fault."

"Really."

"Lucius knew nothing. I do believe it was the first time in his life he was not prepared."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because it embarrassed him terribly when he found out. Before I continue, I require a wizard's oath that none of this information will be allowed to be published."

"Yes, yes. Continue, Miss Granger."

"It all started two months after the final battle. I was in need of a certain potion, and was unable to ask for it. I decided to make it, instead. However, some of the ingredients were not readily available in Hogsmeade and, with the loose Death Eaters around, I was not allowed to visit Diagon Alley. Necessity compelled me to make a deal."

* * *

There was no doubt that Draco Malfoy loved his father. Even after Lucius cut off himself and his family from the Dark Lord, Draco stood by Malfoy Senior, unlike his mother who used safety as an excuse to finally have a divorce granted. However, as much as Draco loved his father, he did not love what his father was becoming. 

Time in Azkaban had given the man nightmares, something he had never experienced before. The termination of support to Voldemort's cause gave him anxious episodes and a slight tremble. Narcissa's departure provided him with a lack of confidence in his looks and sexual expertise.

In short, Lucius Malfoy was having a mid-life crisis. It pleased Draco not at all. After all, in difficult times such as these, a Malfoy had to be above and beyond just to not be condemned. It was getting mighty difficult to be respected these days even without his father piddling away the last of his good looks. The younger Malfoy had allowed him to hide away at the manor for a year. It had been safest that way. However, now that Voldemort was dead, truly dead, he expected his father to rejoin polite society.

Lucius refused to have any part of it.

But the patriarch's birthday was this week and Draco had Plans. If Lucius wouldn't pick himself up, he'd make him. And what better way to do that than with a stripper? Unfortunately, quality strippers were hard to come by these days. Most had 'seen the error of their ways' after the war and were seeking less dubious employment. As well, it was entirely difficult to arrange for a stripper while he was away at school in such a way that neither the general populace nor his father would find out. It wouldn't do to spoil the surprise, and it wouldn't do for the rest of society to harp on the family for yet another fault.

Thus, when Hermione Granger approached him after dinner looking for all the world like she was ready to sell her soul, he jumped on his chance. After ushering her nonchalantly into a quiet classroom, he began negotiations.

"What do you want, Granger?" he asked without preamble. Though they had buried the hatchet and called for a truce of sorts, they were by no means friends. More, he was her supplier in illicit goods.

"Boomslang skin and powdered bicorn horn."

"Polyjuice, is it?"

"Can you get them?"

"What'll you do if I say no?"

She flinched unexpectedly and he knew he was on to something. Though her reasons for making Polyjuice were bound to be interesting, this looked even more promising.

"I have my ways," she replied as cryptically as a Gryffindor could get.

"You've done this before," he retorted with Slytherin cunning.

She fidgeted, and he knew he had her.

"Now, if I remember correctly," he drawled, "the only other place to get these ingredients on school grounds would be Snape's stores…but then you knew that, didn't you?"

She flinched. He smirked victoriously.

"Fine, what do you want?" she cut to the point.

"Perform this one… favor… for me, and I'll get you your ingredients and remain silent concerning your knowledge of my Head of House's private stores."

"What favor?"

"Tell me, Granger, what do you know about strip-dancing?"

* * *

"So you allege that Draco Malfoy used his resources to legally retrieve potions ingredients to coerce you into performing the night of Lucius Malfoy's 44th birthday?" 

"Yes, sir. Ask him if you wish for corroboration."

"We will. Would you care to explain why you were in particular need of these ingredients?"

"It was a gift for a friend."

"And who would that be?"

"I prefer not to say."

"Why is that? Who are you protecting, Miss Granger?"

"The sexual practices of my friends are not the topic of this meeting. Suffice it to say, my actions were entirely legal, his intended actions were legal, and I will not sully his good name to please your vulgarity."

"Behave, Miss Granger, or we will administer Veritaserum."

"You would do so at risk of protestation. I have the power and now the funding to ensure that you never work again. Do not test me on this, Auror Bliley. Now, what is your next question?"

"What happened on the night of Mr. Malfoy's birthday?"

* * *

"Are you ready?" Draco whispered as they hurried along the hallway toward the tunnel leading outside the grounds where they could Apparate. 

"Yes. I received your package Wednesday. Thank you for the materials and the time to prepare."

"You are going to need it."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"My father invited a few friends over for drinks."

"Friends?" she asked with a disbelieving snort.

"All right, former questionable acquaintances that might have had ties to the Dark Lord."

"So that means…"

"You'll be stripping for a room full of perverted old men skilled in torture."

"All this for boomslang skin?"

"I could always tell Snape that I have some information…"

"No, no! I'll do it. I just think it's silly, that's all."

At this Malfoy stopped and took a look at his partner in crime. Even in the dim wand light, he could tell that the work she had gone to make up her face was not wasted. She was quite pretty when she applied herself to it. Not to mention, though she was too small for his tastes, he was certain the garments he had provided would enhance her features enough to be palatable for his father. She was not gorgeous or beautiful but really, if Lucius had been interested in that, he would have tracked down Narcissa. No, Granger looked every bit what Lucius needed to see: enticingly approachable.

"It's not silly," he stated firmly. "He hasn't left the bloody manor since the summer after fifth year. He just needs someone, preferably young and female, to pay him some attention and he'll rebound. I'm sure of it."

"No one will recognize me?"

"We'll charm you before we Apparate. Trust me, I don't want my father realizing I brought a Mu...ggle-born for a stripper either. You are lucky he was forced to take down the Mudblood detection charms."

"Great," she mumbled forlornly.

"It'll work. Now come on, we're late."

The pair that arrived at Malfoy Manor was not quite the same that had snuck through corridors of Hogwarts. Draco, dressed to the nines in his most arrogant, showy robes, escorted a girl that shivered with apprehension under her illusional straight black locks and blue eyes. A 'Do Not Recognize' spell completed the look and Draco himself barely could see Hermione beneath the guise.

Of course, she had pitched a fit when he mentioned charming her body, claiming her self esteem could only take so much. However, he would soon learn it was unnecessary, as would every other occupant of the lounge.

"Father, this is…"

"Helen," she said with a sensual voice that oozed with confidence she was not feeling.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Malfoy," she began, capturing the older Malfoy's eyes with her own. A small smile, promising all sorts of fun that was the result of hours of practicing in the mirror, and her extended hand completed the effect.

Lucius, who had been denied female companionship for quite some time, immediately saw an opportunity. Turning on his own charm, he kissed her hand, lingering for some time, and led her to the crowd with a happy little sneer. Draco, feeling mighty royal, took his seat and waited for her to earn her ingredients.

* * *

"So you accompanied, under disguise, Mr. Draco Malfoy to his family's primary residence with the intention to provide Mr. Lucius Malfoy and his acquaintances entertainment?" 

"I believe I just related as such, so yes."

"Who was present at this gathering?"

"Is that necessary?"

"We need multiple testimonies for the occurrences of that night. If you would, Miss Granger?"

"Will they face any punishment for their presence there?"

"Unless we find the events of the night in question to be in violation of the law, no."

"Former Minister Fudge, McAllister Freely, Spontaneous Patterson, Harold MacFullond." She paused and sighed. "And Severus Snape."

Several gasps were heard from the assembled during the list. However, it was the last name that brought attention immediately to the silent Potions professor.

"Severus!" accused Minerva. "You knew!"

The professor froze and did his best to retreat from the motherly outrage presented to him in the form of the deputy headmistress.

"Bloody hell, Minerva!" he stated while trying to salvage his usual sneer.

Hermione felt pity stir. Really, she had hated to implement him and was determined to spare him as much as possible as Lucius had taught her the value of allies, but there was no keeping him spotless.

"Professor Snape, as your involvement has been indicated, we will have to question you separately," the Auror stated authoritatively. With as much dignity as he could gather, the professor straightened his back, sneered, and left the room.

Hermione sighed. It was going to be difficult telling the truth while protecting all she had to. There would be no honestly denying Snape's involvement, but she would do what she could to preserve the reputation of one of the few people who supported her marriage to the Wizarding world's biggest arrogant bastard.

"Shall we proceed?" the Auror asked smugly. She met his accusing gaze with her own.

"Of course."

* * *


	2. Problems with Overconfidence

**Falsity**  
Just A Penniless Writer

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine.

**Part 2: The Problem with Overconfidence**

"Professor Snape, your participation in the Malfoy-Granger scandal has just been affirmed. It must be said that we suspected as much."

"Of course. Far be it from me to question the intelligence of the Ministry," the professor stated with a comforting sneer. He was not looking forward to this, but at the very least, he could retain some decorum of incivility. However, the Auror in charge seemed content to ignore the barb.

"Before we start the questions, do you have anything you wish to say?"

"You miserably incompetent fools will never see it coming."

"And what do you mean by that, sir?"

"You presume to think the woman in the other room is still a girl. A poor, innocent, deluded girl. One would assume after witnessing her in battle and awarding her an Order of Merlin, you would not underestimate her."

"You seem to have much faith in Miss Granger."

"Faith has nothing to do with it. Madam Malfoy was, and still is, an insufferable know-it-all. Knowledge is power, and Lucius is well aware of that. The two of them will rule the bloody world with the opportunities you are giving them."

"You do not approve of their relationship?"

"Approve? That is hardly pertinent."

"That is arguable. Truly, Professor Snape, what is your opinion of the supposed relationship between Lucius Malfoy and Hermione Granger?"

"Truly, I believe it is a match made in the deepest pits of Hell."

"You do not believe Miss Granger's statements that it was a love match?"

"It is a bloody love match. They will be the owners of our world, but I cannot deny what I have seen. They are perfect for each other: both ruthless and manipulative."

"Really. Shall we proceed to the questioning then?"

"Fine, but hear me now. That woman you so foolishly consider a child will be Minister of Magic within a decade."

"Yes, yes. You do not deny your presence at Malfoy Manor on the night of Mr. Malfoy's birthday."

"Obviously."

"What were your thoughts on the 'entertainment' that Draco Malfoy provided?"

"I thought she was lovely in a plain way, overconfident, quite concentrated on Lucius, and entirely too familiar. I thought perhaps she might be a former student. I regret that I was only partially correct."

"Please provide us with your description of the events of that night."

"Fine."

* * *

Draco had not expected the 'bushy-haired know-it-all' to portray a stripper so very…very…well. But then, he should have expected as much. He'd given her an outfit and one week. Not to mention, it was just two days ago that he'd caught her leaving the Room of Requirement looking suspiciously exhausted. Of course she would take it upon herself to practice and study, even if it was just a little strip tease. Her perfectionism was shaping up to be quite profitable. 

Still, knowing was one thing; seeing it, witnessing the girl he had known for almost seven years strut around in the old fashioned yet completely erotic heels while unbuttoning her entirely too tight blouse, was quite something different.

And he wasn't the only one thus affected. Snape was looking entirely uncomfortable with a tic developing in his left cheek. Fudge, Freely, and MacFullond were slack-jawed and practically drooling. Patterson looked about ready to jump out of his seat and molest her.

However, Lucius was the most curious. His silver eyes were following every movement the supposed Helen made, fixing her with a predatory stare. Strange, though, was that even as she peeled the blouse from her body revealing an intricate and lacy bustier (just the perfect thing for the seduction of an old fashioned pureblood), he kept his eyes firmly on hers.

Meanwhile, Hermione had never felt quite so naked and energized. Though she was able to tune out the leering of the others, she was completely unable to forget about Lucius. Oddly, as uncomfortable as he was making her, his gaze was also feeding her a feeling of feminine triumph. If she could bring the great Lucius Malfoy to attention, what couldn't she do? It was truly the most girlish she had ever felt, and she was surprised to note that it felt damn good. She was powerful, almighty even, and her confidence built at an alarming rate. As self-assured as she'd always been, there was something about holding the complete and utter attention of a roomful of men that made her feel like a goddess. It was not a feeling she was often privileged with.

Lucius merely smirked with glee as she approached him. Plotting was something he was unquestionably good at, as well as getting what he wanted. Right then he was looking at something he wanted very much and plotting how exactly to get it. In these post-war days with his reputation at stake, he'd have to be very careful.

* * *

"During the course of your… performance… did anything untoward happen?" the Auror questioned pointedly, somehow managing a half pitying, half contemptuous glance at the young woman in front of him. 

"If you are asking if I was ravished, the answer is no. In fact, barely any physical contact was made. After all, a locked gaze, a finger along the neck, sexy undergarments…that is all that is necessary in a good strip tease."

"You pranced around in your undergarments and left?"

"No, sir."

"What happened after your performance?"

"I was invited to stay for a conversation."

"So after you acted as stripper, you conversed with your customers? That is hardly ordinary."

"Ah, but I think you will agree when I say that Lucius Malfoy is not an ordinary man. No, he requested that I stay for tea and discussion. At that moment, I was not inclined to refuse."

* * *

Hermione shifted her weight slightly. Though her seat was for the most part comfortable, it was achingly clear that Lucius was in serious need of a few full meals. It wasn't as if the man couldn't afford it, so she really didn't understand why he would be so painfully thin. Of course, she wouldn't have noticed had she not been perched in Lucius's lap. 

"Stop wriggling, my dear," the elder Malfoy murmured into her ear. "Or else more payment may be necessary."

She tried her best not to blush as strippers wouldn't be embarrassed over such things, but she did so regardless. Lucius's grey eyes immediately caught the slight pink on her cheeks and interpreted it correctly. Draco's Plan had worked perfectly, and Lucius was in top form once more. However, with the return of Lucius's confidence came the return of Lucius's overconfidence. He was so taken with the girl in his lap that he never questioned her heritage.

"Really, my dear, one would think you'd never done this before." She blushed further, and Lucius smirked triumphantly as he let the fingers of one hand trail along her exposed thigh.

Her dance had left her in little more than her undergarments – decidedly sexy undergarments provided by Draco that were charmed for comfort, flexibility, and enhancement. They were very useful little things, but left a great deal of exposed skin which Lucius was capitalizing on.

"Now, I find that really curious," he drawled silkily. She shivered from both the voice and her fear at being caught.

"Not really," she stated in what she hoped was an airy voice. "This is my first and last performance."

"And why would that be?"

"I have earned what I needed. That is that." That was the truth after all.

"What could a beautiful young woman like you possibly need that she couldn't receive from her suitors?"

She smiled coyly, beginning to enjoy the word play even as she relaxed further into the man's arms.

"That, good sir, is none of your business. Besides, I have no suitors."

"No suitors? Surely, you jest."

"Not at all. I am usually too busy with my studies to take any interest in boys."

"Ah, my dear, but I think you shall find that I am very much not a boy."

Neither noticed in their flirtation that Snape had suddenly taken notice of their words and turned even paler than before. A certain understanding flashed across his eyes before he abruptly got up and left the room in search of Draco.

"Yes, you are most definitely a man," she returned with a knowing smirk. There was something about flirting shamelessly with one of the richest and most dangerous men of the Wizarding world that boosted her Gryffindor courage. "But then that begs the question, why would a man such as you be spending his birthday with such company?"

He raised his eyebrow in acceptance of her challenge. Sure, she was changing the subject, but she was doing it so effectively, he really didn't care. Besides, he'd find out all about her soon enough. For now, he was content to bask in her compliments.

"Precious girl, surely you've heard the stories about the Evil Lucius Malfoy?"

She stiffened slightly, thinking what a terrific opportunity this was to get him to admit his continued allegiance to the Dark Arts. He interpreted it as fear. They were safe in their delusions.

"I've been out of the country. Tell me, what could anyone possibly have against you?"

"I was a follower of the Dark Lord."

"No!"

"Yes, my dear, I was a Death Eater."

"But, why?" The interest in her eyes was real. As an academic, her natural curiosity had been begging to know this for years.

"Because he was powerful. And because I was bored. It gets dreadfully dull being this rich. You can only manipulate people so much. So when the Dark Lord came into being, I saw excitement. A few enthusiastic speeches made by my ex-wife's sister and I was in. It helped that I already hated Mudbloods."

"Really…"

"Of course, no matter how interesting the Dark Lord was, I was not going to sacrifice my happiness for him. Thus, when he was defeated by that Potter brat the first time, I renounced my connections and escaped punishment. I had a family then, and it was imperative that my son know his father."

"I see."

"The years after his first defeat were dreadfully boring, but I had to be very careful. However, when Draco went to school…A man needs his hobbies, and mine just happened to be plotting against the filth of the world."

She was silently fuming even as part of her wondered what he'd say if he discovered the thigh he was so fond of stroking was that of a Muggle-born.

"When the Dark Lord returned, I rejoined without hesitation. I admit freely that I participated in his plans. I thought all was good again. Until something happened."

"What?"

"I was caught. Caught in the act, in the bloody Ministry of Magic itself, surrounded by the bodies of hexed children who had been in the way. And I thought nothing of it. I would be sent to Azkaban, but really, the dementors were on the Dark Lord's side. I assumed I would be freed in no time."

"But you were wrong."

"I was terribly wrong. The dementors were on no one's side. The dementors didn't give a bloody damn as long as they were fed. One took a liking to me, and for a month, I was emotionally raped of every happy thought I'd ever had."

"You poor thing…" she murmured. Despite the light tone he had used, she could feel the tension in his body. As much as she knew he had the punishment coming, it was in her nature to empathize with lost causes.

"Never say that again, my dear," he responded tightly. "I am no such thing. Stripped as I was of my murderous glee, I suddenly realized exactly what I had been occupying myself with. You could say I saw the Dark Lord in a whole new light."

Hermione stared at him with heartfelt compassion. Lucius decided that was a good place to stop if he wanted to stay honest and yet win her approval. This might be easier than he had thought.

"So, my dear Helen, I once again renounced my ties to the Dark Lord, this time in truth. In exchange for my release, I provided the Ministry with all the information I had, though that was kept quiet. Instead, it was assumed by the populace that I had paid my way out. I suppose in a way I did, just not with Galleons. However, that assumption paired with my disappearance from society made me a pariah of sorts. You would do well not to associate with me, my pet."

"Why, that's horrible!" Hermione exclaimed, all of her indignation at yet another form of prejudice cascading upon her. Oh, she didn't doubt for a minute that there was some information Lucius was keeping from her, but as of now, she didn't particularly think it mattered. After all, this was just harmless flirting, right?

"Now, enough of such serious nonsense. It is my birthday, and I shall enjoy it. As it is getting rather late, why don't we finish this conversation after my guests leave? Perhaps you could provide an encore performance so as to send them off with pleasurable images?"

Hermione stiffened before relaxing again into his arms. Now that she was practically overflowing with confidence, she was not about to let this opportunity to pick apart Lucius's devious mind. It promised to be a very profitable endeavor.

"I suppose, but I would like to try something a bit different. However, I will need to borrow your son for an errand."

"Certainly."

With reluctance, Lucius released the young woman to seek out Draco. Once she was out of sight, she immediately broke into a run in search of her partner in crime. She found Draco shutting the door on what looked to be a library of sorts. Though her interest was instantly piqued, she hadn't the time for exploration.

"Malfoy! We need to go back right quick!" she whispered fervently.

"What? You can't leave already," he whispered back in disbelief.

"No, no. I need to get something for my encore."

"Encore? How exactly does a stripper encore?"

"Exactly the problem, thus my solution. Quickly now! I have something in my room that is perfect for this, but we must hurry!"

Without waiting for his reply, she grabbed his arm and began dragging him forcefully toward the door. He couldn't stop her until she actually had her hands on the doorknob when he threw a nearby cloak over her lingerie clad form. Red from embarrassment and urgency, she thanked him even as she pulled him out the door where they could Apparate. Seconds later, they were scurrying down the secret corridor back into the castle.

"What exactly is this solution of yours?" Draco drawled in tense whisper as they ran through the hallways towards the Head Girl's quarters.

"I wonder, Draco," she said in a sickeningly sweet though overtaxed tone, "if you've ever heard of the art of belly dance?"

Draco gulped nervously. Between his father's obvious interest in his schoolmate, Snape's discovery of her identity (of course, he wouldn't tell her that until after the deed was done), and the prospect of a new form of seductive dance, he knew trouble was just around the corner.

* * *

"Professor Snape, you claim that you did not know the true identity of your entertainment until you overheard her speaking to Mr. Malfoy of her interest in academics over romance?" 

"Yes. As you should know had you intelligence of any kind, a 'Do Not Recognize' spell requires one to correctly identify three personal features of the person in question. Madam Malfoy gave her name as Helen. Struck as I was with the feeling of familiarity, I instantly related the history of the name Helen, particularly that of Helen of Troy whose daughter was given the name of Hermione. Second, during the course of her dance, I spotted an oddly shaped scar on her abdomen. Madam Malfoy received this injury at the Ministry of Magic at the end of her fifth year. I knew of it because I provided most of the potions necessary in her recovery. Madam Pomfrey had asked whether there existed a potion to negate the appearance of curse scars, but this particular one was highly resistant to everything we tried. When I heard the supposed Helen relating that she was overly fond of education, the charm was broken for me. I knew it was Miss Granger. I sought out Draco to verify my suspicions."

"And Draco confirmed?"

"Obviously."

"What then, Professor?"

"For the next half hour or so, both Draco and 'Helen' were missing. The other guests and I were kept occupied with a game of billiards. However, before long we were called again to the lounge for what was to be Miss Helen's farewell dance."

"And that would be?"

"A Middle Eastern dance of some sort. I would not know as I diverted my eyes as soon as I saw her attire."

* * *


	3. Mutually Beneficial Offer

**Falsity**  
Just A Penniless Writer

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine.

**Part 3: A Mutually Beneficial Offer**

The man had been easy enough to find as he was quite fond of staying in his new, smaller office whenever possible, clinging fastidiously to his last remnants of authority. Now, nervously twittering his fingers on his chair, he wondered what exactly this was going to cost him. Ever since losing his lofty position, he had been afforded less and less respect. As he was now being thrown into what could possibly be the scandal of the century, it was likely he would never come out clean.

"Councilman Fudge, we have brought you here to discuss the events of the night of Mr. Lucius Malfoy's 44th birthday. Do you agree to answer our questions honestly and to the best of your ability?"

"What…Of course, of course." And the questioning began, and Fudge mumbled and stumbled through the embarrassing answers as well as he could.

"What was your perception of the relationship between Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy on the night in question?" the Auror asked from his list, without bothering to look at the profusely sweating man.

"Goodness, me…They appeared rather taken with each other, honestly. At first, I assumed it was just her role as a…as a…as an entertainer."

The Auror looked up questioningly.

"What changed your mind?"

"Miss Helen, I mean Miss Granger, summoned us back to the lounge. She then proceeded to…to…to dance what she called 'hip dance' or 'belly dance' or something of the sort."

"And what did you think of this new show?"

The former minister reddened further with embarrassment, and the Auror could only guess from that and his incoherent stuttering that he was appreciative.

"What struck you about this new dance that made you question the bond between Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy?"

The examinee was silent as he gathered his thoughts and fought to lower his blood pressure. As his cheeks regained their former coloring, he began in a mildly self depreciating tone.

"I admit I'm not a perceptive man." He rightly ignored the Auror's snort. "But it would have taken a blind man not to notice the link between them during that dance. It felt wrong to watch, so very wrong, an intrusion into something that should have been personal." The Auror snorted again. "She only had eyes for him, and he for her. I suspect something of an intimate nature might have occurred had Severus not flipped his chair or Spontaneous not spilled his drink."

The Auror wanted to giggle at the thought. Having been a student of the mentioned Potions professor, he found it hard to believe that something had disconcerted the harsh man so much.

"They were so open with their expressions. Miss Helen looked so very…curious. Curiosity is a dangerous thing, mind you, but it fit her quite well. And Lucius…he must have been dreadfully out of practice as it was painfully easy to read him. Even I could see his mind ticking away, plotting…"

* * *

The devious spark in his grey eyes had not softened even after the commotion caused by his pitifully incompetent guests. 

Staring at the woman still swiveling in front of him in the spangled skirt and brassiere, he saw past her uses as entertainment to other possible, and vastly more exciting, applications.

Just noting the effect she had on several notoriously upper class wizards was enough to make his Plot further take shape. A woman like her on his arm at the right events, and he was sure to climb his way back into society's good graces. Her lack of notoriety would only add to her media appeal. If he played his cards right and kept her past, whatever it might be, silent, the papers would speculate, and the gossip would grow to monstrous proportions. And this would have to make him look better because everyone knows any press is good press.

He neglected to consider his experiences with the Daily Prophet that had condemned him in the first place.

Now, he only needed a way to persuade Helen to go along with his scheme. While he could always pay her, he was a rather greedy man when it came to his fortune. Better suited for his mind was the idea of blackmail.

Recalling their earlier conversation, he figured that this little show she was putting on was not something she wished to be widely known. A woman who sells her body, or even the sight of her body, for a night in exchange for some payment is generally a woman with a secret. This allowed him several possibilities. He could try to determine exactly what her payment had been to estimate her cost, or he could just assume that her family would be horrified to know of their daughter's exploits. Also, he could do a combination of both. Altogether, it was a tempting prospect and he really needed to speak to her in private.

It felt good to plot again.

As the sparkly clad woman approached him, he took the initiative and pulled her back into his lap. Then, with all the dignity and politeness befitting his station, he bade his guests adieu.

"Gentlemen, get out."

Sensing the birthday boy's impatience, all present immediately took their leave, bidding both host and entertainer good evening. When it was down to Malfoy kin and one scantily clad young woman, the elder Malfoy offered up a toast.

"To the best birthday present a man could get." Sounds of agreement and sips of wine followed.

"And to possibilities," he continued. Speculative looks and longer drinks.

"Possibilities, father?" Draco inquired as he fell back into his seat.

"Possibilities, Draco. Our present social situation is a disgrace to our ancestors."

"And how would you rectify that, sir?" Hermione inquired curiously as she once again arranged herself onto her patron's lap.

"You, my pet."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You are the key."

More than a little skeptical, she raised a brow and looked at him with all her inherent bossiness.

"And how, exactly, am I the key?" she demanded. While she failed to notice that her uptight stature only made certain feminine attributes more prominent, Lucius did not and smirked gleefully.

"I humbly request your company at an upcoming event or two."

"What if I am otherwise engaged?"

"I am sure you could be persuaded."

"How so?"

"Tell me, Helen, are your parents aware of your activities this night? Your family and acquaintances know of your other…talents?"

The simultaneous bleaching and blushing of her face told him exactly what he needed to know. However, he missed Draco's similar response.

"I propose a deal, my pet. Allow me to escort you to a few select events. Play the beautiful, charming maiden opposite me to the gullible public. As compensation, I spare your family certain humiliation."

"Not that I am not…um…flattered by your request, but I simply cannot afford it. Dresses, shoes...I have none of these things…" Seeing his speculative look, she amended her statement. "At least nothing worthy of being in your presence."

Her compliment laden words worked as he took this into consideration. While inwardly he was cursing spending money on something other than himself and direct family, he figured that the better she looked, the better he looked, and therefore it really was going toward him after all.

"Very well. I will also provide wardrobe, necessities, and a suitable allowance." Certain that he had made a quite respectable and completely undeniable offer, he sat back and waited for her to accept it.

Hermione retreated far into her mind as she pondered the offer. On the one hand, she knew how incredibly stupid it was to make a deal with a Malfoy, her present situation case in point. On the other hand, think of all the benefits! First and foremost, it would keep Lucius from digging into 'Helen's' nonexistent past. That in itself made accepting the offer plausible as she was not about to let the dangerous man discover her true identity. The damage he could cause to her reputation, using only the truth, could be insurmountable. With several apprenticeships on the line, she didn't want to risk it. In addition, this was a chance to learn first hand all about Lucius and the illustrious pureblood culture. How could she, student extraordinaire, sanely pass up such an offer? And as if that wasn't enough, he was even going to pay her for the trouble.

In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself that not accepting the generous proposal would be utter stupidity. Yes, yes, she was quite sure that dreadful things would happen should she object, and thus it was with almost complete confidence that she turned toward her benefactor and resolutely replied in the affirmative.

Lucius smirked happily. Draco paled further, only beginning to image all the consequences of this deal.

"But," she added before they could seal the agreement. "I require at least two days notice before I am needed so that I may make arrangements. My schedule is free most evenings and weekends. I am a busy girl, as I am sure you understand."

"Of course, my pet. It's only… fair." It felt slightly wrong to say that word and to hear him say it. "And how shall I keep you informed?"

"Draco should be willing to act as my liaison. Give any information or items intended for me to him, and he will ensure they reach me at my current residence."

Draco gulped nervously. Now they were including him in this farfetched plot? Merlin, this was getting complicated. All he'd wanted was for his father's self esteem to be raised. He'd never imagined that tricking his schoolmate would turn into this.

"Draco, are you in agreement?"

"Yes, father," he answered with false cheer.

"Very well then. I shall contact you soon, my dear Helen. There is an event scheduled for this coming Friday that I will require you for. I will send Draco the details as well as your attire. Should you need me, send word."

"Yes, sir. Until then?"

"Until then, my pet."

Always the gentleman, Lucius took his time helping his guest into her cloak before leaning in with the intention of stealing a kiss. However, she proved her worth once again as she neatly avoided him, instead only receiving a peck on the cheek. Half irritated and half interested, he let it go with the knowledge that she would be all his in a few days.

After all, there was more to his Plot than he had let her know.

* * *

"And so the deal was made?" the Auror questioned smoothly. 

"Yes. And so my life became a bloody mess."

The Auror raised an unapologetic eyebrow. It was not appreciated.

"Oh please," Draco drawled. "Don't you dare give me that look. Do you know how difficult it was keeping all those secrets? First and foremost, I had to keep Granger's identity secret from father, else he punish me. Then, I had to keep the deal secret from everyone else. Father let me in on his plans to seduce her so I had to keep that secret. Snape knew who she was, but didn't know about the deal, so I had to come up with an entirely different story to tell him once 'Helen' started appearing in public. I find it bloody amazing that I pulled it off for so long."

The Auror huffed in retort.

"Not to mention, this was not just my father and some woman. This was my father and my annoying classmate. How would you like it if your father courted someone your own age? While you were still in school, no less?"

The question produced the proper effect as the Auror blanched.

"That's what I thought," Draco said smugly. After all, at least his father looked younger and his new step mother older than they actually were, thus making it a bit more acceptable. Most people weren't that lucky.

* * *

The next morning, Draco received information on Helen's first 'mission'. That afternoon, Hermione sent her acceptance of the terms. By evening, she had received partial payment as well as a package containing several of the most beautiful, if old fashioned, outfits she had every laid eyes on. Whatever worries she had about accepting the deal faded as she basked in the happiness that only expensive gifts can bring. 

Unfortunately, Hermione had never been particularly girly. Thus, when she decided it was practical to try on one of the robes, she found herself increasingly frustrated by the garment's lack of cooperation. While she had been prepared for the extensive studying she would be required to do in order to prepare for her new role, she hadn't thought that knowledge would be needed for something as simple as dressing. Apparently, she had been wrong.

She needed help, and she wasn't quite sure where to get it. After all, it wasn't as if she could just ask any of her friends, or even her female classmates for assistance. Gossip was something they specialized in, and they would immediately want to know what the dress was for and who had given it to her. It was quite the conundrum.

Deciding to delay the robe issue until after she had completed some research on culture and manners, she gently stowed away her new apparel and headed off to the library. Scouring a section she had not visited since her first year, she picked up every guidebook and manual on proper witch etiquette that she could find. The old tomes were dusty, something she hadn't expected, but then, most pureblood witches were taught these rules in their own homes. Hands-on training did seem more effective so she made a note to peruse the Room of Requirement later.

Hauling the stack of books to the check-out desk, she waited while Madam Pince fastidiously went through the process. It was all business as usual until the librarian actually took note of the titles. Lifting the copy of Madame Propio's Rules of Etiquette, she looked pointedly at the nervous student.

"I do believe this is not your standard reading material, Miss Granger."

"No, um, it's just that…Ginny and I made a deal to have an upscale celebration when I graduate, and I want to be sure no one thinks I'm improper..." Hermione had picked up on the art of lying early in her life. Friendship with Harry made it a necessary skill of which she was often grateful.

Madam Pince suddenly felt a stir of pity. It was quite the odd sensation as it had not occurred in quite a long time. Perhaps it was because she identified with Hermione that everything that followed came about.

"Books will only bring you so far in the art of decorum. To truly understand, you need a Madame."

"But who? I do not know anyone like that. All of my friends have terrible manners, and I can't afford to hire anyone."

Hermione saw something she thought she'd never see. There was a most definite sparkle in the aging librarian's eyes that almost frightened her and would have had she not been in the presence of so many ominously sparkling eyes in the last few years.

"Miss Granger, if you agree to help me close the library every night I will help you learn the secrets of polite society."

There was a second of dumbfounded astonishment before a smile spread across Hermione's face. Agreeing quickly, she made arrangements and settled into her customary corner to study until closing time.

It was rather amazing, she decided. Just a week and a half ago, her biggest worry had been procuring ingredients for a potion. Now she was chin deep in secrets and scandals, and she was enjoying every second of it. Things had been dreadfully boring since Voldemort's fall, after all, and a girl needed her hobbies, even if those did include becoming an older man's escort.

Of course, everything could fall to pieces around her. It was plausible, likely even, that somehow this would harm her in the end. But she had never one to back down from a challenge, and pretending to be a stripper pretending to be a member of the upper rung of society had to one of the most impossible challenges she had faced to date. It was all a matter of Planning, and that was something she was undoubtedly good at, provided a suitable motive.

There was no way she was going to let anyone say that she wasn't the equal of a pureblood after this. Really, it was Muggle-born pride that demanded she prove herself by going through with the deal.

At least, that's what she told herself.

* * *


	4. First Signs of Life

**Falsity**  
Just A Penniless Writer

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine.

**Part 4: The First Signs of Life**

"And so, Miss Granger, that brings us to the beginning of the very… public… game the two of you have been playing for the last few months."

"And so it would. The Friday following Lucius' birthday, I completed my first mission as Helen Wright, Lucius' new love-interest. It was a dinner party at a rather nice restaurant in Diagon Alley, held by Mr. Alias Barnum, a former business acquaintance of Lucius."

"Did everything go smoothly?"

"More or less."

* * *

When she stumbled into the Room of Requirement after classes on Friday, she was beyond exhausted. Homework, still done to her high standards, was now only part of her burden. Her evenings were taken up by etiquette training with Madam Pince, and she woke early in the mornings to practice while the rest of the school slept. 

Thinking over the numerous rules she had read about during the week, she realized exactly how patriarchal the system was. Madam Pince had ruthlessly and continually reminded her that female opinions had no place while men were speaking. That had struck a nerve in the frazzled girl as she had never been one to submit. She was doing this to prove the worth of the Muggle-born, but now that she thought of it, she was also doing this to prove the fortitude of women.

She would have to be strong. Her manners would have to be beyond reproach even if her attitude was not. She would not be obnoxious, merely equal.

And all this would be so much easier were she not so extremely tired.

Taking out the outfit provided for her use this evening, she began the painstaking process of fitting into the garment. After half an hour, she was about ready to give it up and call the entire deal off. She was tired, she was sore, and she was stuck in a dress.

And that's exactly how Draco found her.

"You're not ready yet! He's expecting you in half an hour!"

"I know, I know! But this dress isn't exactly easy!"

Setting down the Portkey to be used for her departure, he went over and began pulling down the dress. Almost immediately, it began to take less the form of a beautiful bag and more like a lovely gown. She hated to say she was impressed.

"But…how?"

"My mother didn't trust the house-elves to assist with some of her more priceless robes."

"What happened to your mother?"

"She was a bitch."

Hermione, not knowing quite how to respond to that, decided it best to remain silent.

"No, that's not quite fair," Draco continued as he began the process of buttoning the long line of buttons down her back while she absently began on a sleeve. "She's not so much a bitch as she is set in her ways. When Father came back from Azkaban, he was different, and she wasn't willing to go through that. She had already been having enough difficulties with him spending all that money to fund the Dark Lord. She couldn't keep up with him, and she didn't want to."

"Oh…"

"I wouldn't worry about it. Her letter and care package last week said she was spending time in her new villa in Magical Tuscany. You shouldn't come across her."

"Oh. Well, that's good."

Having completed dressing the girl, Draco turned her around and began the spells to change her back into Helen. However, even when those were completed, something was most definitely off.

"You're tired."

"I've been busy."

"You cannot go to this party looking like you'd rather be asleep. Father will be most disappointed."

"I know. I will wake up when I get there."

Eyeing her with obvious disbelief, he pulled a vial from his robes and held it tauntingly in front of her. The green liquid was practically sparkling with energy.

"Invigoration Draught?" she asked with happy relief.

"Enhanced Invigoration Draught."

"Enhanced?"

"A certain Potions master I know has a special recipe that diminishes the negative side-effects."

"Professor Snape gave you that?"

"Of course. I am his favorite student."

Huffing with displeasure, she eyed the vial hopefully.

"I suppose I could give it to you…" Draco drawled, and her eyes jumped to alertness. "For a price."

"How much?" she asked with determination. As much as she hated to say it, she really needed that potion to get through the night. It was too tempting not to inquire.

"Merely information."

"What do you want to know?"

"That dance you did for my father. The encore. Tell me, Granger, how exactly does the Gryffindor know-it-all know how to dance like that?"

She blushed even as she attempted to snatch the potion out of his hand, only for him to pull it out of her range.

"My mother," she mumbled.

"Your mother!"

"This summer I told my mother that I wasn't feeling very…girly of late. With guys as my best friends it is understandable, but there are times when even I want to be feminine. My mother happened to be reading some trashy novel at the time about the Middle East. In the book, the heroine had learned belly dance in order to seduce the ruler. I was bored as I'd already done all my summer work and read all my textbooks, so I looked into it. Everything said it was quite the challenging dance, so of course I had to try it. The difficulty only made it that much more entertaining."

"Of course, you would think that."

Ignoring him, she went on.

"After the war ended, my mother and I were trying to spend some quality time together before my final year. I mentioned offhand that I had been practicing belly dancing, and we shared a good laugh. When I came back to Hogwarts, I practiced once or twice a week. On my eighteenth birthday, my mum surprised me with the full dance ensemble."

"Your…your…mother bought you that outfit?" Draco spluttered.

"Yes."

"Dear Merlin, Muggles really are barbaric."

"It was a coming of age present, you pretentious pureblood!"

"Of course it was," he drawled in disbelief.

She merely glared and snatched the potion from his slack hand. Before he had time to protest, she had already removed the stopper and finished drinking it. Almost immediately she could feel new life entering her veins. It was quite the rush.

"Are you finally ready?"

She smiled in the face of his annoyance.

"I am most thoroughly prepared, Mister Malfoy."

And with a wink, she grabbed the Portkey, spoke the word of activation (the most adequately chosen 'courtesan'), and was transported from the room only to topple quite gracelessly into her employer's arms.

Lucius, now that he had a Plot after over a year of substantial Plotlessness, was perfectly ready to take gratuitous advantage of the opportunity presented to him.

"You are late, Miss Helen. I do believe I should be compensated for your lack of consideration."

She wanted to snap at him, had the perfect comment ready and everything. However, that would not serve her purpose. She had a Plan, after all.

"My utmost apologies, sir. Whatever can I do to reimburse you for the trouble I have caused?"

It was sickeningly sweet and said through practically grinding teeth, but maybe he would allot that to the fact that his grip was a bit too slack, she had yet to find her feet, and was therefore slipping steadily downward. Of course, he was well aware of her precarious position. He had, in fact, ensured it would occur. Therefore, he was more than willing to buy her words at face value.

"My price is so little, my dear. A kiss is all I require to forget your temporary lack of manners."

After all the late nights and early mornings all week studying precisely what he found lacking, she was beyond furious at his easy comment. However, she had by then become aware that he would not release her until she relented to his demands. And, really, was it so much to give him a kiss if it would save her the indignity of sliding to the floor?

It was with that idea in mind that she used the fistfuls of dark green robes she already had to pull herself closer to his confident, pointy face.

"Fine," she muttered as she lunged forward to give him an angry kiss. To her dismay, he pulled away.

"Tut, tut, tut, my pet. Like you mean it."

Taking in a deep calming breath and picturing all the good that would surely come from going through with the Deal, she leant toward him again as best as she could in her precarious position.

She was not unfamiliar with kissing. It was just that she was unaccustomed to kissing a male who wasn't drunk or making the first move. Thus it was that she did the first thing that came to mind.

Lucius, despite his warnings, fully expected her to do as little as she could get away with. Thus he was unprepared for the chaste, open mouthed kiss that was bestowed upon him. As it had been quite some time since his last contact with a woman, he intended to fully enjoy it. When she started to pull away, he stole a quick kiss, not much more than a sweep of lips, before righting her unstable footing in an effort to keep her from hearing his happy sigh. Hear it she did, but she misinterpreted it as that of a horny man wishing for more.

Perhaps she hadn't entirely misinterpreted it.

Still safe in their delusions, neither seemed to notice the other was experiencing similar lingering feelings of pleasantness. Instead, she merely straightened her already crumpled dress robes as he dusted imaginary dirt from his sleeves.

When they were done with their grooming, he motioned for her to take his arm so he could Apparate them. However, before he could finish saying the words, he noticed something that had earlier evaded his keen gaze.

Her eyes, Helen's beautiful blue eyes, were a lovely shade of brown.

"What?" she asked self consciously as he continued to stare at her face.

"Your eyes…were they not blue?"

Gasping, she immediately turned to the gilded mirror on the hallway wall. She took note of her changed features to see immediately that yes, her eyes, formerly spelled blue, had returned to the familiar brown.

The potion! Of course, regular Invigoration Draught had some effects against Illusion charms. She was just lucky the enhanced version hadn't completely destroyed her new appearance. Damn, she'd been so bloody tired she hadn't even thought about it.

But what to tell him? Grasping at straws in search of an explanation, she turned to face him again.

"Do you not like them? Would you prefer I return them to blue?"

"Is this your natural coloring? It's quite…fitting. No, keep them brown. I prefer it."

It was wrong to blush at such a strange compliment from such a conceited man. Or perhaps it was because he was so conceited that the compliment made her blush. Regardless, her cheeks reddened and she tightened her grip on his forearm.

"Thank you, but we'd best be on our way," she said softly.

"Yes, we should," he mumbled softly in return. Internally, he was wondering why, with her pink cheeks and brown eyes, he was suddenly reminded of Hermione Granger at the Quidditch World Cup some years ago. Discarding it as a fluke memory, he pulled her closer and they disappeared in favor of their new destination.

* * *

"And that was your first sign, of the necessary three in the 'Do Not Recognize' spell, that 'Helen Wright' was, in fact, Hermione Granger?" the Auror asked pointedly. 

"Yes," Lucius clipped with no small amount of tedium.

"But you thought nothing of it?"

"Of course, I didn't. It was preposterous to be thinking of another woman, particularly one I was not fond of at that moment, while I was holding perfection in my arms."

The Auror merely raised an eyebrow. Lucius merely smirked as he thought how that particular expression was wasted on such a man. Really, some people just couldn't do it properly.

"The dinner party, Mr. Malfoy, was in honor of Mr. Alias Barnum in a private dining room at Magnifique in Diagon Alley?"

"Yes."

"And how did Miss Granger, as Miss Wright, take her introduction into Wizarding High Society."

"She did most wonderfully…until some fool had to mention punishing a house-elf."

"That was your second sign?"

"It was so much more than just that. There was almost no living with her after that."

* * *


	5. Pureblooded Spectacle

**Falsity**  
_Just A Penniless Writer_

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine.  
**Author's Plea:** Please accept my apologies for the wait. Between editing, several other stories, breeding plot bunnies, HBP, and unintentional unemployment, I got lost along the way. In case you haven't noticed, this fic will not be HBP compliant. Also, not formally edited.  
Enjoy if you can.

**Part 5: A Pureblooded Spectacle**

The woman was at odds with the little room. Her velvet robes made the canvas of the chair covering look downright nasty, and the lively feather in her hat made the mundane beige of the walls all the more dreary.

"Madam Percival," the Auror began.

"Please," she interrupted all too sweetly. "Call me Petty."

He wanted to cringe. Instead, he held it back and hoped this would all be over soon enough. Why the Minister wanted to continue bringing in witnesses was beyond him.

"Petty," he began again, pleased that his voice retained the bored official quality. "What is your speculation regarding the Malfoy-Granger scandal?"

"O, I could never speculate! That would be entirely… barbaric," she said with false affront. "However, I can tell you what I saw," she continued smoothly with a particularly condescending smile.

"If you would then," the Auror led, hoping this wouldn't consume too much of his time. If he had to work the interrogations for this case, at the very least couldn't he have questioned one of the Malfoys?

* * *

Magnifique was much like Malfoy Manor with its luxurious tapestries and decadent furnishings. It had to be the most pureblooded place she had ever laid eyes on. Everyone she saw looked her over with such presumption and arrogance that she wanted to scream with frustration. 

"Patience, my pet. They are just curious about you. Let them be. It is all part of our Plan," Lucius whispered into her ear. The tickling sensation and warmth radiating from his arm left her with a dreamy smile that ordinarily wouldn't fit her countenance.

"Of course," she mumbled back.

They were escorted to the rear of the restaurant where a private dining room was already filling with guests.

"Lucius! How wonderful to see you out again!" Mr. Alias Barnum, the host of the small gathering, proclaimed. He seemed a jovial enough man to Hermione, but then, she'd come to expect the unexpected.

"Alias, the pleasure is entirely mine," Lucius responded with a self assured smirk. "Allow me to introduce my dear Miss Helen Wright."

Mr. Barnum turned sparkling eyes to her which brightened as he lifted her hand for a kiss. It was different than Lucius' though, and it bothered her somewhat that she actually preferred the evil blond at her side. Surely that was a sign that her priorities were in dire need of rearranging.

"Well met, Miss Wright," Mr. Barnum said smoothly. "Please, allow me to introduce you to my other guests."

She was whirled around the small room so quickly that she found it difficult to remember all the names of the people she met. Luckily, she was by nature anal retentive, so she managed well enough. Madam Barnum was a blank faced woman who looked half dead. Mr. Follicle was balding and sweaty. Dr. Percival was strict and condemning. Madam Percival was patronizing. Monsieur Blanc seemed quite taken with her.

"Jacque, I must take my dear Helen back," Lucius interrupted much to Hermione's appreciation when Monsieur Blanc started blatantly flirting with her.

"Thank you," she whispered honestly after she had been rescued from the amorous clutches of the Frenchman. Lucius tried to suppress a shiver caused by the unintentional movement of her lips against his ear. It really had been too terribly long since a woman had shown such interest in him. Older pureblooded females were entirely too aloof to ever think of doing such things as getting so close. Merlin bless young witches.

"My pleasure, my pet," he murmured back, adopting his usual confident stance and smirk with an arm securely around her waist. "Shall we have a seat?"

It was perfect timing. A bell rung clearly signaling the start of the meal, and the small group took their seats. Hermione smiled smugly at the thought of Lucius pulling her chair out for her under the assumption that she was a pureblood. She wanted to cackle from the proof of the depth of his delusion. Since she was sure he was suspicious of her identity and past, it was all the more amusing that he hadn't yet made accusations regarding her bloodline. Was it that he simply did not believe a Mudblood could pull off such an illusion? Was his prejudice so thick that he denied the possibility that someone he appreciated could not be pureblooded?

It was an interesting theory.

"Lucius, dear, I hear that your Narcissa is enjoying her time in Tuscany," Madam Percival said with a very Pansy-esque simper. Lucius merely smirked and took Hermione's hand on top of the table, a sure sign to all who watched.

"Yes, Petty, I am well aware of what, or rather who, is occupying my ex-wife in Tuscany. I am only happy that she has found what she wants."

It was a smooth and polite reply, to be sure, but there was something so entirely wrong with the manner in which it was said, the indulgent tone used, and the smirk employed.

"Now, now, Petty, let us not talk of Lucius' past when his future is present," Alias said with a wink in Hermione's direction. "Tell me, my boy, where did you meet this precious woman?"

Hermione blushed under the host's sparkling eyes, and Lucius was once again struck by an odd flash of a meeting at the Quidditch World Cup before the Dark Lord's return to form. Shaking it away, he met the question just as he had mentioned he would in his letters to her during the week.

"It was quite the miracle, I assure you. I am most thankful every day," he said with some amount of honesty. "I was visiting a small outpost in Africa to pick up some very valuable potions supplies. I found a small market selling orchid essences where Helen was purchasing a vial. She commented on the freshness of the _mystacidii_, and we simply couldn't stop conversing."

It was a perfectly constructed answer: detailed enough to make it seem real but vague enough to leave them wondering. Most importantly, it made little mention of Helen. They were left to speculate who she was and why she had been there; they were far too polite to inquire further.

Lucius and Hermione smiled indulgently at each other, completing the act. It was entirely too natural for both of them.

"Hmm," Alias interrupted their longing looks. "It has been some time since you last joined us, Lucius."

"Yes, too long… I am only too glad to be back. My dear Helen has given my life new meaning. I believe I could touch the stars with her by my side."

Madam Percival smiled with girlish delight at the imagery. Hermione was a bit shocked that the man she had, as a child, deemed Evil Incarnate, was capable of such beautiful words, even if they were a bit tacky. Lucius was satisfied that he could say such a thing without lying. After all, he had great things Plotted for himself and Helen.

The meal arrived then and conversation stalled. It wasn't until all had been served and adjustments made that communication began again. However, now it was lighter and Hermione was able to sink more comfortably into her role. They were nice enough, but still she wondered how quickly they would turn their backs on her should they learn of her true parentage.

"I must say, Lucius," Dr. Percival began in a rather short, flat tone. "You have changed."

It was difficult to tell if the phrase was meant as a compliment or insult, and so Lucius approached the answer with caution.

"Incarceration will do that to a man."

"O, I am most sure of that," Petty simpered. "I believe what my husband meant was that you are more relaxed, Lucius dear. Do we have young Helen to thank for this?"

Lucius grinned honestly. This couldn't be going better. It was almost a waste of his skills that he was able to answer so many questions without lying. Turning his gaze to his partner in crime, he found Helen smiling demurely into her wine glass, attempting to hide the blush gracing her cheeks. Altogether, a perfect response.

"I believe you are correct, Petty. Helen has… broadened my perception. She has made me realize worrying about the inevitable is pointless and wasteful."

The women smiled serenely, but Dr. Percival straightened even further in his seat and sent a demanding look towards the cool aristocrat.

"Surely you haven't changed terribly much. You haven't gained any unsightly sympathies, have you?"

To Hermione's credit, she held her anger back with a tremendous amount of will. After all, this was to be expected from friends of the Malfoy family.

"Really, Ignatius, such silly accusations. When a Malfoy becomes a blood traitor, you will not have to ask."

"Pardon me, Lucius," Mr. Barnum began with a conspiratorial whisper, steering the conversation in a direction he favored more. "Madam Narcissa is much enjoying her time in Tuscany…"

"Yes, Alias, we have all heard," Petty interrupted the host.

"Have you heard of her gentleman caller?" he continued undaunted, with an odd twinkle in his eyes.

"Of course we have. A respectable pureblood."

"Cover. My cousin was visiting a Muggle village near her estate and saw Narcissa in the company of a Muggle gentleman."

"Your cousin must have been mistaken!" Petty cried scandalously. "Narcissa would never!"

"Au contraire, Madam. On no less than a six occasions did he see them together. I believe he even heard of Narcissa visiting the gentleman's villa."

"Impossible! Simply impossible!" Petty stated firmly. "Narcissa always hated Muggles. She would never lower herself to such a filthy level."

"Your opinions, Lucius?" queried Alias with a knowing grin.

Lucius had remained silent during the accusation of his ex-wife's dalliances. After all, it was hardly pertinent to him anymore.

Instead, he had been studying Helen's reactions to the statements. Though she had held up remarkably well to the subject of his former wife, he had seen an unmistakable cringe when Petty had insulted Muggles. While a large part of him was revolting at his association with a Muggle Sympathizer, he knew continuance of his Plot was reliant upon her happiness. There was plenty of time later to convince her of his position, and he would allow this unfavorable belief now as she had been isolated from respectable society for some time. It was only a matter of grooming.

As well, considering his present Ministry issues, it was best to be safe in the presence of company. Even a mildly vehement response could easily render him even more of a pariah in the recovering society.

"I believe…" he began with slow calculation, determining how ambiguous his answer had to be in order to be accepted by all present, "that Narcissa is not my concern. However, I will say that she is not so against Muggles as she is against those of differing social status. If she is involved with a Muggle, he must be quite well off."

That answer seemed to placate everyone, and Lucius settled comfortably into his seat with a pleased smirk, allowing his hand to cover Helen's once more.

The topic changed several times throughout the meal, and Hermione was both amused and appalled at the arrogance of everything. Still, the uselessness of the conversation made staying true to her role incredibly easy. Her mistakes were few, and she was reassured that Lucius simply believed her to be out of practice. Her opinions, when warranted, were not outrageous, as the subject matter simply did not allow for it. She had even managed to weave in a few well crafted comments regarding the irrelevance of robe colour to political standing that left an unsuspecting Petty smiling unsurely.

However, the smile on her face that had become entirely real by the time dessert was served twisted into something Lucius was sure meant disaster for someone at the table, preferably not him. That angry calculating false smile he knew far too well. Even a man as powerful as he once was feared the righteous anger of a woman.

"…Once he was finished ironing his ears, he finally finished preparing the soufflé with the good liquors instead. House-elves are such a bother."

Every male in the room had already taken note of the rising ire of one particular member of their party, probably because long marriages dictated they knew the expression well. However, Petty, who had yet to get a clue, was content that everyone was of the same opinion until Hermione spoke.

"Madam, if the elves are such a bother, why do you not set them free?"

Nobody save Petty dared laugh at the completely preposterous idea.

"But why would I do that?" the woman asked with complete sincerity between girlish giggles.

"Perhaps if you treated them better they would serve you better," Hermione continued undaunted.

"They serve regardless of treatment. I find a little punishment helps them remember their place," Petty replied with a patronizing air.

"Punishment can force them into betrayal."

"House-elves do not betray! It is simply not done."

"And I suppose you would know something of this?"

"Of course. I have never heard once of a house elf going against his master. It simply is not done!"

"Then you are obviously uninformed. I know of a house elf that risked certain death to betray his master and save someone he respected greatly. Another house elf turned on the man he was servant to. The situation ended in the man's death."

"But those are extremes. Such things do not happen in polite society."

"Oh, I suppose so. But then, I also wouldn't doubt they find other ways to punish you for the continued abuse. Tell me, how has your tea been lately?"

There was a stunned pause at the table. Every set of eyes was wide and locked on the coldly furious Hermione. Lucius had honestly never expected his escort to be so fiery, but then it was a bit entertaining to see how easily she could own the room. The young woman would make a great politician if he could only rid her of her silly ideals.

However, something in her little tirade was nagging him. Her examples were oddly familiar. Surely the girl couldn't have been referring to that mongrel Dobby. After all, the only people who knew about Dobby were select members of Dumbledore's group, Potter, and his idiot friends.

A memory tickled him with irritating precision, but he pushed it away. Draco's stories about the Mudblood friend of Potter and her elf fetish had no bearing on the present and were terribly disturbing.

Still, the girl needed to learn how to state her opinion and leave people wondering if she was being serious or not. The only thing that saved her reputation, and her use in his Plot, was the generosity of Alias, who decided the situation was entirely too funny. The host's honest laughter was followed by the unsure titters of his guests as Helen merely met Lucius' eyes and smirked.

He didn't know if he'd ever been so entertained. This was possibly better than Muggle baiting.

* * *

"Your Father recognized the second sign of the required three because you told him Miss Granger was interested in House Elves sexually?" the Auror questioned with blatant disgust. 

"I may have exaggerated a bit."

"I see."

The Auror and the young Malfoy exchanged speculative looks.

"Tell me you didn't say such ridiculous things when you were a teenager," Draco finally challenged.

The Auror merely cleared his throat and looked at his shoes.

* * *


	6. Indecent Betrothal

**Falsity**  
_Just A Penniless Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_ **Nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Plea:_** Eh. I appreciate y'all, I really do. I'm just horrible at remembering to say it. And a bitch. Enjoy if you can.

**Part 6: The Indecent Betrothal**

"Despite her outburst, she left a generally grand impression in the room. With the exception of Petty, every attendee related to me privately their approval of Helen. A most adequate introduction that only reaffirmed my Plot."

"You continued onward then."

"Of course. After a bit of 'education' as it were."

"Explain."

Lucius cast the Auror a disdainful frown. Really, did the man have to be so obtuse?

"While I could quite easily see her abilities, she was in dire need of finesse before something dreadful happened. I couldn't have her disgrace me in public. Therefore we spent some time the next day on her lacking social skills."

"And how did she take your 'lessons'?" the damnable man asked pointedly.

"Very well. Helen was a very apt pupil, especially once I explained the benefits of such knowledge. Her next few assignments went significantly smoother. She will always be argumentative, but she is no longer as obscenely brash. Regardless, once we won over had the pureblooded populace, we decided it was time to continue to the next level of the Plot."

"And that would be?"

"While useful, my former social circle continues not to be fond of the press, understandably. In order to spread information regarding my new lover, it was necessary to go beyond High Society."

* * *

Despite how incredibly tired she was, Hermione had decided to accept Lucius' most recent invitation. She had just completed her last exam and essay before the Hols. If she deserved anything after all the studying, revising, schmoozing, and etiquette lessons, it was to be treated like a queen. However, she hadn't quite expected this. 

"You are taking me where?" she asked incredulously as he affixed an elaborate necklace onto her neck.

"We are going to Gringott's then slipping clandestinely into the Muggle world from the Leaky Cauldron."

"But why?" she asked while trying to keep her mouth from doing anything improper such as gaping. It proved difficult. Lucius in the Muggle world? Absurd!

"Because, my pet, the easiest way for people to notice you is to act suspiciously. By pretending I do not wish for anyone to know of my company and destination, I ensure both to be printed in the paper."

Well, that certainly made sense. Still, Muggles?

"…And we can leave that Merlin Forsaken place once we find a reasonably clear spot to Apparate. The house-elves have already started a wonderful dinner."

She frowned at both the insult to her original world as well as the elf reference. While she had managed a wizard's oath that he would not harm any house-elves, he was still resolute against freeing them. It was something she was determined to work on, but she was quite proud with what she had accomplished.

Still, underneath his plan was an opportunity she would be daft not to grab.

"Or, since we could possibly be followed, we could actually eat at a Muggle establishment." She did her best to mention it in an offhand manner but still felt his hands tighten momentarily on her shoulders.

"That will not be necessary," he said shortly, definitively. Still, she was not going to give this up, not when she had such a great chance.

"Think of it, Lucius. They will be interested at you having a woman companion. They will be intrigued when you exchange some galleons for pounds. They will most definitely follow us. What better for them to see than the supposed Muggle-hater eating with a mysterious witch at a Muggle restaurant? It would be spectacular."

He was quiet with consideration. She pushed further.

"It would be front page news," she whispered fervently.

That seemed to be exactly the right thing to say for his hands released her shoulders and stroked them appreciatively.

"Tell me, Helen. Where in that dirty land could we go?"

"When I first arrived back in England," she lied flawlessly, "I stumbled across a very nice Muggle restaurant. The Muggle equivalent to Magnifique, I suppose. All you would have to do to blend in is leave off the robes."

"Really now." He paused, perhaps for dramatic effect. "You know much about the Muggles, my pet."

"Yes. I choose to be well informed," she retorted shrewdly, which was true enough.

"I see. Well, you are certainly correct about the media exposure. I suppose we could attempt it." He paused again, certainly for dramatic effect. "But we leave the instant a dirty Muggle accosts me."

"Truly, Lucius, I do not understand how a man so intelligent could be so foolish."

He chose to ignore that preposterous statement.

Thus their evening had gone. While in Diagon Alley, they had done everything they could short of Disillusionment to escape notice. Therefore it was no surprise when they first caught sign of the observer following them. The trip into Muggle London went just as smoothly. Though Lucius later admitted the experience wasn't quite as dreadful as he had expected, it still left him feeling distinctly filthy. However, the hours of scrubbing that night were nothing once he saw the Daily Prophet the following morning.

There, front and center, was clever little Helen smiling beatifically while he looked on with a grin that could easily be construed as blissful. Best of all was the headline that simply could not be missed or ignored.

_Former Death Eater Takes New Love to Muggle Restaurant!_

Reading the article was enlightening and amusing. The Prophet had pulled no stops in determining the identity of his escort. They had interviewed quite a few of his acquaintances and pieced together a good deal of Helen's false history. A pureblooded witch Lucius had encountered in an African market. A young beauty about which little was known. Lucius' guest to the majority of private events over the last month. An obviously serious love interest as she was already wearing a rather infamous necklace from the Malfoy jewelry collection.

Dear Merlin, how he loved the Prophet. The speculation regarding her past and significance was simply marvelous. It couldn't have worked out better.

With a rather pleased expression, he summoned parchment and a quill to write out the details of Helen's next assignment. It was time to tie everything together. All he had to worry about was how much her acquiescence would cost him.

Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, Hermione almost snorted her pumpkin juice when she first saw the picture adorning the Daily Prophet. She was immensely thankful that the spell Draco had chosen worked as well through film, but it worried her still. Could someone find three signs and recognize her from those seconds of repeated moving image?

After reading the article, Hermione smirked happily. Lucius would be pleased. A quick glance at Draco showed him looking particularly energetic as well, though he kept sending suspicious glances to his head of house. Sure enough, Professor Snape was watching her with a decidedly off expression that made her distinctly uncomfortable. She would have to interrogate Draco about it later.

She did not get the opportunity until Arithmancy. As it was the last class day before Hols, the students were allowed to work on their independent projects. Hermione had immediately departed for the library only to be waylaid by Draco who led her to an unused classroom, something Hogwarts seemed to have aplenty.

"I just received this from Father. You have a new assignment," he said.

She didn't even notice the increased paleness of his pointed face as she took the proffered parchment. However, several gasps later, she had read through the missive several times and was just as pale as her accomplice.

"This can't be right," she said flatly.

"Father isn't known for his sense of humor," Draco responded in turn.

"But… this is outrageous! He cannot expect me to go along with it!"

"No. He expects Helen to go along with it."

"Isn't this awful fast?"

"He thinks it'll look better for him this way. Completely besotted and all."

"Surely no one will believe Lucius Malfoy could become enamored and betrothed the same month."

"They would have to if you went ahead with the Plot."

"But… I can't! We can't! I can't marry your father!"

"Great Merlin, Granger! You are not marrying him. You are only agreeing to falsify an engagement. He doesn't even know it's you."

"Still…"

"You are a bit too deep in this to give up now, aren't you?"

"But…"

"What am I supposed to tell Father if you disagree? How will I explain to him that the woman I supplied him with has disappeared into the nothingness from whence she came?"

"That is your problem!"

"Yours too! You bail out now, and he will come looking for you! He won't stop until he finds you!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Are you insane? For my Father, I would!"

"He is going to find out about me eventually, Malfoy. Would you rather it be before or after our supposed engagement?"

"Granger, as long as you don't implement me, I don't give a bloody damn."

"O, I will so implement you!"

"Who do you think he'll believe: his loving son or the Mudblood that lied to him for months? I'll be just another injured party."

Hermione was more than incensed. Suddenly, what had seemed like a pretty good and highly beneficial plan was turning into quite the predicament. The relaxing Christmas Hols she had been looking forward to was now ruined with the extreme effort that would go into faking a betrothal. The twice a week assignments would no doubt be increased to near daily. And, of course, Lucius would have something spectacular planned for Christmas itself, throwing off all her own holiday plans. Now, in addition to her own annoyance at the only partially unexpected direction Lucius' Plot seemed to be taking her, she had Draco revealing his intention to abandon her when the moment of truth finally came. It was not reassuring.

"Listen, Malfoy," she hissed venomously as she took hold of one of his ears. "I am only still doing this because of you and your father. Did you really think pretty robes would have kept me involved this long? Now, if I go down, now matter how, I am dragging you down with me. And let's not forget who is in more trouble legally, shall we? Not even considering the hefty fine for blackmailing a rather famous Mudblood, all the work we have undergone to save your precious reputation will have been for naught once I get the Ministry involved."

If Draco could be any paler, he would have been a ghost. For a split second she entertained the notion that perhaps she had frightened him to death. However, that didn't explain the sweat beading on his forehead as her words hit home.

"Fine, fine! I was just saying that he would track you down whether I said anything or not! You have to agree or he'll know! Bloody Merlin, Granger, just agree and save us all the trouble!"

It was one of the few times that she accepted Draco's words at face value, but there wasn't much else for her to do. Letting go of his ear, she ignored his indignant mumblings as he rubbed it gingerly and instead focused on the Plot that was rapidly becoming increasingly complicated.

* * *

"On the day before the beginning of Christmas Hols at Hogwarts, you agreed to further accompany Lucius Malfoy as his fiancée?" 

"You make it sound so easy," she responded shortly.

"Did you or did you not, Miss Granger?"

"After serious consideration, I did agree to his proposal. As it was, I was too involved to bow out when he was so adamant about pushing forward. Thus, I agreed to continue the charade in an attempt to choose a proper time to inform him of my identity."

"And you found nothing amiss with lying to the Ministry and the populace?" the Auror questioned sharply, a definite gleam in his eyes.

"Actually, sir," Hermione responded similarly, "I believe you will find that neither I nor my husband ever said anything untruthful. It is the Ministry and the populace that lied on our behalf. I merely wore a very beautiful ring on a very particular finger."

She smirked in response to the Auror's frown.

"What of your supposed engagement party Christmas Eve?"

"A small gathering of friends at Magnifique to celebrate the season… and 'our blossoming love', as I believe he put it. If you review the article in the Prophet, I am sure you will find not a single statement from either Lucius or me regarding marriage."

The Auror looked rather upset but dropped that unsuccessful accusation.

"Very well. So you spent a large portion of the holiday with Mr. Malfoy."

"Yes, at the Manor and very places. Our first outing as a supposedly engaged couple was to Christmas shop in Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley. We had dinner out a few times as well. Our engagement was never openly questioned, and we enjoyed the attention as we grew closer in private."

"You insinuate that at some point during the hols, you began to truly become enamored with Lucius Malfoy?"

"I do not insinuate. I tell you quite easily that is precisely what happened. Lucius became very important to me very quickly. The more time I spent with him, the more I saw the man he was, and the more I liked it."

"Was he kinder? Was he gentler? Did he flatter you and adore you, Miss Granger?" the Auror asked, his voice thick with ridicule.

"Not at all. The more I saw him, the more I saw how wonderfully sneaky he was. How beautifully cunning. How intelligent."

"Those qualities attracted you?"

"Of course. You cannot defeat a Dark Evil Lord without gaining some respect for trickery. Lucius was perfectly capable of turning any situation to benefit him. It was simply magnificent to watch, and as I watched, I learned. Lucius taught me everything I could not learn at Hogwarts, everything that wasn't within the confines of a book."

"It was… educational."

"You have to realize, for someone like me, knowledge is important. But that wasn't the only reason why I fell so hard for Lucius."

"And what was that, Miss Granger?" the Auror asked harshly. Hermione met his hard gaze with one of her own.

"For all that he said and did, Lucius went beyond protecting his own interests. Lucius did everything in his power to make and keep me happy."

"Of course he wanted to keep you happy, Miss Granger. Otherwise you might reconsider your position."

"It is beyond that, you dunce. Truly, do you know nothing of love? The little things, the small things that didn't benefit him at all, really. Despite how much he hated the Muggle world and despite that the press stopped following us after the second time, he continued to take me to Muggle restaurants because he knew I enjoyed them. When I mentioned that I particularly enjoyed a certain Muggle treat, he made sure I had it for New Years. Do you think I would be foolish enough to assume he wasn't using me for his own nefarious scheme as we had agreed? I tested him. I tested him repeatedly! And he continued to put my happiness above his own."

"He returned your affections, then?"

"Yes."

"Then, how, Miss Granger, did he take the knowledge that you were in fact a Muggle-born?"

"If you have in fact been following the paper, you should well know. Our… disagreement was well publicized."

"So the troubles the Prophet reported were the result of Mr. Malfoy becoming aware of your identity?"

"As I just related, yes."

"And how did he find out?"

"At the time, I had no idea he already had two of the three signs. Therefore, while I expected some trouble, I did not expect the argument that came about," she rambled.

"Would you get to the point, Miss Granger?" the Auror interrupted.

Hermione took a deep breath and let the words rush out with her exhalation.

"It was all Mad Eye Moody's fault."

* * *


	7. Mudblood Hits the Fan

**Falsity**  
_Just A Penniless Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_ **Nope, not mine.  
_**Author's Plea:**_ eh... Sorry? Barely edited. Will edit at work. Just remember, trust no one, question everything, and nothing is what it seems. O, and Enjoy if you can.

**Part 7: The Mudblood Hits the Fan**

"And, hm, how did your father become aware of Miss Granger's true identity?" the Auror asked with much interest.

Draco smirked. Really, it was so obvious the man wasn't much older than him and probably a paper pusher. This was the biggest assignment of the man's life.

Then he remembered the question, and his smirk dissolved into distinct discomfort.

"Everything had gone so bloody smooth. I had hoped it would continue as such."

"But it didn't."

"Smart man, you are," he responded with blatant annoyance. "Of course it didn't. Had you watched the paper at all? You would have seen, quite easily, everything fell apart a few days following New Years, right before I returned to Hogwarts."

"What exactly happened?"

"We went shopping. We went bloody shopping. Father wanted to show a strong family front by having Granger, or 'Helen', accompany us on a nice outing in Diagon Alley. We were going to see the new broom that had just been released the day before."

"The Cloud Skipper? That broom is amazing!"

"I know, I know. Top notch racing broom. If I'd had that broom during the Slytherin-Gryffindor Quidditch match, I surely would have won the game. But, back to this bloody question, it was progressing perfectly. Granger really did look the 25 years we had originally made her. Father was calmer and happier than I've seen him in years. He insulted the filthy shopkeeper so perfectly the idiot looked as if he'd been Stupified. And Granger -- she grinned! I thought it would be awkward being with them, but she… I forgot who she was for awhile. I forgot she was Mudblood Granger and thought she was just Helen, my Father's pureblood fiancée. It was perfect! We were so strong then! Between the three of us, we could have made the entire population bow in recognition!"

"Really."

"Really. Our family has suffered since Father went to Azkaban. This was the first time we were back, truly back! Everything was as it should have been." The manic light faded from Draco's eyes as he slumped back into his chair. "Until that bloody paranoid arse ruined everything."

"Who?"

"Mad-Eye Moody."

"What did he do?"

"Not a bloody thing. He existed. That was enough."

* * *

"Really, my pet, have you learned nothing?" Lucius questioned his false fiancée as they took tea in rather nice establishment along Diagon Alley. "Threats are best when they are false. The man who believes it only feels all the more cheated when he learns he was threatened with an impossible scenario." 

"Really?"

"O yes, my dear girl."

"Tell her about the school governors when you got Dumbledore booted from Hogwarts!" Draco said with enthusiasm. Hermione shot him an unreadable look. Was her accomplice really this starved for attention?

"Very well, Draco," Lucius responded with a fond smirk. Ah, memories. "My son attends Hogwarts, as you well know. I am not on particularly good terms with the present headmaster. At one point, during Draco's second year, there came an opportunity to have the man removed. I was on the Board of Governors, but a move of this magnitude required the signatures of all the eleven other governors. Some were not as… willing."

"So how did you do it?" No, really, she was curious. She'd always imagined him threatening serious injury or some rather nasty curse, but surely at least one of the governors would have had the ability to stand up to him.

"Most sufficiently. I needed a threat severe enough to be taken serious, but I was sure at least one of the men would relent after some time, and therefore I needed something I couldn't possibly be arrested for."

"So what did you use?" She was on the edge of her seat now, her brown eyes locked on Lucius's pleased and pointy face.

"I mentioned that I was prepared to inflict the _adulterium nequeo_ if we couldn't come to an understanding."

There was a moment of pause before Hermione broke into laughter. Several patrons turned to look in near astonishment at Lucius Malfoy's pretty, young fiancée laughing so honestly. Lucius merely smirked with pleasure as he waited.

"And… they… bought that? They were the governors, and they believed it?" she managed through her remaining giggles.

"It is a fairly old curse. I am surprised you know of it and know why I could never have inflicted them with such."

"I came upon it while looking up a related curse after an acquaintance flinched at the mere mention. It is a very impressive, and, for certain people, terrifying curse."

"The inability to commit adultery as well as the inability to find release with a woman if still a bachelor… a very thorough and terrifying curse indeed, which is why it requires express wand consent of the oldest blood related witch in the wizard's family in order to be successfully cast."

"…consent which cannot be coerced. Indeed, a frightening curse, and one you could not exploit. It would have provided the signatures, bought you some time while they researched the particulars, and kept you from being prosecuted. Brilliant! Just brilliant!"

Lucius practically preened under her compliments. He always did like for his strategies to be appreciated, as they so rarely were. Of course, a lot of his plots did seem to fall short of their goal, alliance with a notorious Dark Lord not excluded, but that didn't mean he wasn't successful in part and therefore deserving of some commendation. Apparently, admiration had been waiting for him in the delightful form of a would-be stripper.

"And that, my pet, is exactly what a threat should be."

Draco watched with satisfaction as his father smiled assuredly and accomplice returned with her own demure expression.

Really, this could be no better! With a happy little sigh, he turned away from the gratuitously adoring couple that disgusted him even as it elated him to let content eyes lazily scan the crowd passing by the partially fogged window. There were various wizards of status out, precisely the reason they had chosen this time and day for the excursion, so he more than expected to see a familiar face. However, what he wasn't expecting was the disfigured profile of someone he had no urge to associate with.

Wherever Mad Eye Moody was going, he was in a dreadful hurry, but that didn't make him any less imposing. A bit perturbed even now at the sight of the former Auror, Draco turned back towards his companions only to find a pale and frightened Hermione gripping her tea cup with white knuckles.

"Helen? Have you had a fright?" he asked lowly.

Her eyes, the familiar brown as they had been since the Invigoration Draught discovery, met his. While he did not understand her fear, he was more than willing to get an explanation, particularly since his father was already growing suspicious.

"Do you need the lavatory, Helen? Some water perhaps?"

She nodded vigorously and leapt from her seat, practically running to the rear of the establishment, far away from view of the window. Draco waited a few minutes before he too left with the flimsy excuse that he wished to verbally abuse the wait staff. He searched until he finally found his classmate huddled in the filthy alley that separated the tearoom from the neighboring magical china shop. A disgusted cringe flitted briefly across his face before he turned his attention towards his schoolmate.

"Dear Merlin, that was close," she said through shivers. "He could have ruined everything, Malfoy!"

"What the bloody hell are you going on about? What happened in there?"

"Mad-Eye Moody, ferret face!"

"What about him?"

"Mad-EYE! It is a magical eye! It sees through enchantments! He would have known!"

"Merlin…"

"We can only hope he was in too much of a hurry to actually see me."

"But, Granger –"

"Granger?"

They both turned shocked and terrified faces to the latest inhabitant of the alley. And oddly enough, it was exactly that expression on her face that turned Lucius' confusion into comprehension. He'd seen that expression on that face before – during the ill-fated raid on the Ministry that had landed him in Azkaban.

But that meant… that meant Helen had been at the Department of Mysteries. That meant Helen wasn't Helen at all; she had been lying all along. She'd been playing him for a fool. This impertinent chit had been mocking him all the while! Hard grey eyes turned onto the girl, venomous intent brewing beneath the surface.

"Hermione Granger. The Mudblood of Hogwarts." He seemed to pause to keep his anger from boiling over. "A 'Do Not Recognize' charm, was it? Regardless, you will be sorry you ever crossed me."

"But, father –"

"Quiet, Draco. I will deal with you later."

"But, Lucius –"

"I did not give you permission to speak, Mudblood, nor would I ever allow filth such as you such familiarity."

The epithet seemed to push some of her fear back as indignation lit in her eyes.

"You allowed filth such as me much more than familiarity, _Lucius_," she responded tightly even as tears struggled to be shed. "And don't you even dare try to pin the blame on me entirely. For all that I did, you led me. For all that I lied, you let me. This would never have gone on so long had you not ignored all signs to the contrary."

With that, she propelled herself through the door and back into the tearoom. She'd made it to her cloak when a cold hand gripped her left arm resolutely.

"We are not finished here," he said through gritted teeth.

"I believe we are." She then pulled off her would-be engagement ring and slammed it onto the table before attempting to pull her arm free. He merely tightened his hold.

"You are causing a scene, Lucius," she snapped quietly. "And not a scene you will be thankful for."

Suddenly remembering the audience surrounding them, Lucius let his hand slip away as she stormed out into Diagon Alley proper. He only watched her, focusing on the straight black locks he now knew to hide unruly brown curls.

"Father, I meant to tell you…"

"Quiet, Draco. Not here."

"But father –"

"Not Here, Draco! Or have you lied to me enough that you are unwilling to obey even a direct command?"

Draco's frightened face, as well as the dead silence surrounding then, cued him in that he may have been a bit too menacing. Even as he dropped a few Sickles on the table and stalked out of the tearoom, robes snapping behind him, he remembered that it was exactly Helen's duty to help him regain society's trust, though Helen herself had caused his outburst.

But then her name wasn't Helen; it was Hermione. Hermione Granger, Mudblood Gryffindor. It had been Hermione Granger who had clutched his arm for safety during their first few outings, wrinkling his robes but making him feel all the more important. It had been Hermione Granger who had laughed appreciatively when he explained the logic behind threats. It had been Hermione Granger who had kissed him with such refreshing innocence.

Dear Merlin, it had been Hermione Granger who had danced at his birthday gathering in those wonderfully revealing costumes.

Tightening his hold on his cane, he Apparated back to the manor in a blink, wanting nothing more than silence, a little elf kicking, and a hard drink.

* * *

"The public nature of our falling out made publication a guarantee. When I returned to Hogwarts three short days later, it was to several well read issues of the _Prophet_, and a school full of gossip." 

"What were your actions during that time?" the Auror asked flatly.

"I studied. I took solace in my lessons. I chose to continue my etiquette training with Madam Pince just to prove that I could be just as refined as him. I wanted so terribly to prove I was worth his interest again." She paused with a sigh. "I'm afraid I was terribly cliché."

"And what of your actions regarding your letter to the _Prophet_?"

"Well, I couldn't very well let such rubbish be allowed, now could I? Helen was every much my responsibility as she was Lucius' and Draco's. If the _Prophet_ wanted to tar Lucius' blooming reputation, they would need to do it in a way that did not involve me. So I simply sent in a letter of correction."

* * *

"Listen to this," Ron said with excitement over breakfast as he read over the latest gossip regarding his family's nemesis. 

'_To the Reader's of the Daily Prophet;_

_I would like to correct an issue that was brought to my attention in the Thursday edition of the Prophet, regarding my supposed infidelity to Lucius Malfoy. The allegations that my relationship with Mr. Malfoy ended due to certain indiscretions with his son are ridiculous and crude. I resent the very idea, and ask the Prophet to please refrain from such vulgarity in the future.  
The reasons behind the dissolution of my relationship with Mr. Malfoy are personal and private. I ask that they be treated as such. _

_Thank you,  
Helen Wright'_'

Ron put down the paper and looked around with a pleased smile.

"Isn't that something?"

Harry smiled in return before turning back to his eggs. Hermione remained silent, wondering why the _Prophet_ had seen it fit to cut several paragraphs from her letter. She supposed it would have taken up too much page space, but still felt the loss. All that time spent looking up the perfect words to insult the paper, only to have them left out completely.

Her thoughts wondered to Lucius as she imagined him reading the paper with a very different reaction than Ron. Would he grin wryly as he recalled the good times they had? Would he curse that she was still interfering? Would he further plot his revenge? Was he already enjoying the company of a new woman?

Tears that she had successfully held back for a week started to pour down her face without her knowledge. Still locked in her mind, she imagined being shunned by a newly married Lucius as she lay dying on the cobblestones. Would his new love enjoy his plots as much as she did? Would the woman make his eyes sparkle like she had? Would he buy the horrid cow Muggle candies as he had her?

"Hermione? Are you crying?"

Ron's voice seemed to infiltrate her little pity party, but it did nothing to stifle the tears that seemed relieved to finally have an outlet. Unable to respond for fear of sobbing loudly, Hermione merely threw herself away from the table and ran out of the Great Hall in favor of a more secluded place.

"What was that all about?" Ron asked as he turned back towards Harry.

"Dunno. NEWTS?"

"Probably." He paused. "We should probably start revising soon."

"Probably," Harry agreed. "Then, we did save the wizarding world. I think we'll be forgiven somewhat for low marks."

"Right. Quidditch?"

"Perfect."

And so it was that Ron and Harry never spotted the skulking form of Draco Malfoy heading out the Great Hall after Hermione.

* * *

"Why did you follow Miss Granger?" 

"One lesson that has become more obvious over the years is that one must always keep those who can damage you content. You might discover that I've largely limited my taunting of Potter to the Quidditch pitch. Granger, though perhaps less notorious, could damage me more with Helen than Potter could ever dream. Thus, it was in my best interest to keep her content."

Draco paused, quirking his eyebrow while he pondered.

"And," he continued slowly, "I needed to see what could be done about convincing her to return to Father. He was angry, furious really. Especially since he couldn't even kick any elves with that damn oath she'd coaxed him into. But more than that, he was hurt. Truly hurt. And I will not see my father hurting for anything. Those last remaining days at the manor were enough to convince me what he truly wanted. If it took blackmailing Granger into marrying him, I would do it. Our reputation, or what was left of it, could be ruined by a Mudblood, and I didn't care. My father had to be happy… or he would make my life miserable."

* * *


	8. A Flair for the Dramatic

**Falsity**  
_Just A Penniless Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** Nope, not mine.  
_**Author's Plea:**_ My narrative voice seems to be missing. I don't know where it went. But I sure do miss it. My dialogue is stilted without it. Next chapter before Christmas, I promise. Enjoy if you can.

**Part 8: A Flair for the Dramatic**

"Professor Snape, you have related that you were under the belief that Mr. Malfoy knew of Miss Granger's identity from the beginning. What then did you believe was the cause of their argument?"

"I thought nothing of it. There was little need to speculate, especially with the Prophet spouting enough rubbish for the lot."

"And why did you not consider that you were misled?"

"For one, I never expected that dunderhead to be capable of Occlumency. Perhaps Draco is worthy of Slytherin after all."

"What else?"

"What you miserable excuses for wizards fail to understand is that Lucius is nothing if not volatile. Similarly, Madam Malfoy is much like a spark -- she is rather prone to arguments. It was only a matter of time before an argument occurred and it did not concern me, as it should not have concerned anyone but them. However, it seems they once again read it correctly and used your mindlessness to their own advantage."

"How so?"

"They turned themselves into a spectacle, and now you will turn them into martyrs."

"Aren't you being perhaps a tad dramatic?"

The glare he received was answer enough.

* * *

Draco had, early in their acquaintance, made Hermione cry numerous times. However, fewer and fewer of his insults fazed her over the years and certainly none as much as this. 

This... this was disgusting. With the puffy face covered in red splotches, the tears forming a revolting sheen, the loud sniffles that made him cringe... while he wasn't sure why his Father wanted such a person, he knew it was in his best interest to get her back to her scheming, Lucius-loving self.

"Granger."

"Go away!"

"Granger!"

"I said, go away!"

"How do you expect me to understand you through all that disgusting noise you are making. Clean yourself up, Granger, and stop looking like a common Mudblood."

He wasn't sure what curse she tried to hit him with, but he was mighty glad her tears threw off her aim, if the oozing substance coating the wall was any indication.

"Go away, Ferret!"

"Granger, just stop your blubbering and listen!"

"There's nothing to say!"

"Listen to me!"

"NO!"

"He loves you!"

"He loves Helen!"

"Helen IS you!"

"No, Helen is a pureblood. Helen has class and style. Helen is everything he wanted."

"Granger, you are Helen, even though you have fil- Muggle parents. Everything he loves about Helen is you."

"Regardless, he's such a bigoted bastard that he'll never accept me now that he knows who I am. And I don't want to be with someone who truly believes I'm less simply because of who my parents are. The stupid egotistical man ruined everything with his bloody prejudice!"

"Granger!"

"What!"

"My Father is not a bastard!"

"I don't care!"

"Sure you do! You care a lot! I've seen the way you look at him! You care for him, and you care that this is hurting him!"

And he was right. Whatever expletives Hermione could use to describe Lucius, she certainly did care that her actions had hurt him. The fight drained out of her, leaving bitter grief in its wake.

"I do care. But it was not the lie that hurt him but his own prejudice. Had it been a pureblood under Helen's illusion, this wouldn't have happened." She paused to pull herself together, and Draco reflected later that she was every bit dramatic as his Father, yet another sign they were meant to be.

"I care," she continued as she walked towards the door, "but it doesn't matter because I can never be with a supremacist, and he'll never change his ways."

Whatever impressive exit she intended to make was overshadowed by Draco's sudden inspiration. After all, his Father wasn't the only person in his family with melodramatic tendencies.

"Don't do anything rash," he ordered. "I have an idea!"

* * *

"What was this grand idea?" 

Draco stared at the clerk with an expression he hoped relayed how entirely hopeless he viewed him to be.

"I Owled my Mother, of course."

* * *

Lucius refused to call his behavior 'moping'. Because he was not moping. A man of action such as himself simply did not mope. No, he was merely reflecting at length on the sad turn of events regarding Helen. It wasn't moping at all. 

The difference in definition did not occur to his ex-wife.

"Lucius, dear, thank you for coming. Draco was afraid you would stay in the Manor to mope some more."

"I was doing no such thing."

"Of course not. Cognac?"

"Please."

Once the brandy had been served and the pleasantries dispensed, Narcissa finally decided it was time to find out exactly what was going on with her former husband. For a woman of action such as herself, the formality she had been bred into quickly wore out its welcome. Now she was interested in Plotting, but first, the requisite Gathering of Information through Whatever Means Necessary.

"Lucius, dear, why have you been moping? Draco has been dreadfully worried about you. Is it the woman from the Prophet?"

He eyed her suspiciously. The invitation alone had been enough to warn him of interference, but her interest was most definitely making him question his acceptance.

"I may have... overlooked something significant. The woman I planned to marry was not who I believed her to be."

Her eyes sparked, and he was reminded forcibly of the day she announced their divorce.

"And what was she? A Muggle-born, perhaps?"

"How much did Draco tell you?"

"Enough."

They paused for a well-timed drink. The cognac was fortification in and of itself, though he did wonder if she hadn't added a certain tasteless truth serum to his cup. But then, perhaps it was simply that telling the truth, or a truthful version, was becoming habit.

"I wish I could be angry at her for deceiving me, but it was so well done, I simply cannot. If anything, I want to admire the girl for such a grand performance."

His eyes widened. That was certainly not what he had intended to say. Her demure smirk, hidden partially by her glass, was answer enough.

"Then do so."

"She is a Mudblood. It truly is such a waste of potential."

"Then do not let it be wasted. Really, Lucius, if you want her then take her. Are going to let something like blood keep you from having what you want?"

"You have become rather open-minded."

"No, I have simply decided to take what I want, even if that may be a Muggle who showers me with expensive gifts. The cognac is from him."

"Indeed."

"I thought so. It is so terribly difficult to find worthy cognac."

"Almost seems a waste to use it as the carrier of Veritaserum."

They paused to enjoy the gift before continuing.

"She will always be a Mudblood."

"Think of her as the exception."

"Regardless, I will always be a supremacist."

"Then be your own supremacist. You already consider Malfoys to be above all. Is it really so far a stretch to consider Mudbloods and disreputable purebloods equally revolting?"

"Three decades of belief cannot be washed away so simply."

"Then marry her now and use the rest of your life to see what she sees -- and change it. Really, Lucius, you were not so blind when I married you. Though perhaps you were, listening to my dear sister regarding the Dark Lord and whatnot."

He nodded stiffly and took another sip of the spiked cognac. It was certainly worth the truth to drink it.

"There is always a matter of the public. We were highly successful in bringing our relationship to light. Now, I wonder if it was a folly."

Narcissa closed her eyes slowly, a sign of irritation well known to him.

"Truly, you are out of practice. There is no one that can stop you from marrying the girl; no one else knows who she is. And once you are wed, there will be no way for it to be annulled quickly. As for public opinion, it can only benefit you. Why, think of it Lucius! You have already publicly visited a Muggle restaurant on her behalf. How could you possibly prove your acceptance of the new society without marrying a notable Mudblood? No one could possibly doubt your sincerity then."

"And those that did could say nothing, or risk being brought to the Ministry's attention."

"Of course."

She paused thoughtfully before continuing.

"Then, there is the matter of your affliction. Did the curse pick up again? Has it been upsetting you?"

"She is a beautiful young woman," he stated baldly.

"Perhaps. Still, for that alone I see only how marriage could benefit you. Truly, it would be a folly to refuse this opportunity on the basis of prejudice. At least admit her as an exception. Hate whom you will, but do not let it interfere with your happiness. That is not the Lucius Malfoy I know so well."

"I am a changed man."

"Not fundamentally. You still think solely of yourself. You simply need to prioritize."

He smirked lightly.

"Where did you learn these delightful phrases?"

She returned his smirk.

"My Muggle is a motivational speaker, and that is exactly as it sounds."

"Curious that Muggles would need such a thing."

"Not so. It is a new form of persuasion that works very well. You should consider it."

"I shall. It would work wonderfully on Miss Granger."

"Ah. My suspicions were correct."

"Really."

"After you stared so maliciously down at her some years back, I always knew she would be trouble. Though I never suspected this."

"And that is why our upcoming marriage will never be forgotten."

"Just do take care of this matter quickly. It is upsetting Draco."

"He is not upset over my interest in his schoolmate?"

"Why would he be, dear? You have given him all he has ever wanted."

"A new mother?"

"Of course not. You are now in his debt forever."

* * *

"After you discussed the situation with your ex-wife, what did you decide to do?" the Auror asked flatly. 

"I did what any smart man would do in such a situation: I promptly sent an Owl loaded with my apologies and jewelry. I requested her presence at dinner, and I ensured I was persuasive enough during our meal that she agreed to continue with the arrangement."

"She agreed to play as your fiancée once more?"

"I never said play -- a fact she was quick to pick up on only after we had finalized our agreement."

* * *


	9. Patron Saint of Drunks

**Falsity  
**_Just A Penniless Writer_

_**Disclaimer:**_ Nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Plea:_** Completely unedited and one big cliche. Enjoy if you can.

**Part 8: To Honor the Patron Saint of Drunks**

"Your marriage to Mister Malfoy was not long after you resumed your partnership, correct?"

"Obviously."

"And why was that? Was there any... particular reason you wedded so quickly?"

The insinuation was blatant and tasteless. Hermione could not understand how anyone could lack so much tact.

"I suppose there was, though not the reason you may think. For one, it was not my intention to be married so fast, but the situation changed and we felt no need to delay the inevitable. In the end, you are not too far off the mark."

"And why is that, Miss Granger? Are you expecting?"

The assembled spectators gasped. Hermione merely huffed in annoyance.

"Must you be so inane? No, I am not with child, else you would have read it in the Prophet."

"Then why, Miss Granger? Please, spell it out for us."

"In the end, it was all about sex. And blackmail. But mostly sex."

* * *

His note had been so deliciously complimenting and apologetic, without any of those ridiculously poetic phrases she loathed so much, and the jewelry so beautiful, without any of the ostentatious snakes the family seemed so fond of, that it had never even occurred to her to refuse. At the dinner, he had been so suave and humble, or rather as humble as he could get, that it had never occurred to her not to forgive him. 

But then, perhaps it was because she'd had a rather lot of wine. It seemed he was always there with the bottle, refilling her glass, til she lost count of exactly how many glasses she'd had and only knew that the room was terribly warm and her dress robes terribly clingy.

When he'd given her that half smirk, half smile, she knew there was no other life for her than with him.

"So..." she'd begun in a slightly giddy voice. "You don't care that I am a Mudblood?"

"I care that you are the best. I will have nothing but the best. I will have you."

That statement was so very self assured that she almost pushed through the wine fog and chastised him. Almost.

"Have me, will you?"

"Have you, I will."

She took another sip of her wine. Rather, she took another gulp of her wine and swallowed it thickly as she watched the smirk on his face brighten.

"And so, Miss Granger, do you agree? Are you my betrothed?"

"I suppose. Yes. Yes, I am." She nodded so enthusiastically that the wine glass still clutched in her hand threatened to spill over.

His smirk was every bit as malicious as it was delicious.

"Wonderful. However, I find that you are lacking in one area."

"Lacking?"

"You, my pet, are lacking this." With that, he pulled a small box from his robes and set it before her. Her eyes widened as she went to open it. However, he stilled her hands.

"First, let me know exactly who I am with."

She didn't quite understand what he meant until he pulled out his wand and removed the charm from her hair that she'd applied out of habit to make it Helen's straight, black locks. When the illusion dropped, the bushy brilliance that she'd been cursed with since birth was revealed and she patted it self consciously. However, all was well again with his murmured 'beautiful', even if she did not understand the sentiment.

"Now, you may open it."

With that, she completely forgot about her hair, and that he had never referred to her alter-ego, and that she was, in essence, accepting his gift as no one but Hermione.

With one look at the ring, she completely forgot Helen had ever existed.

"This isn't the same ring."

"No. It isn't."

What he neglected to tell her was that the previous ring had been a very beautiful but very standard engagement ring. This ring, however, was the official Malfoy engagement ring that had been passed down each generation. Rather, it had been passed down since his family had knocked off the previous owners and become the new pinacle of society three generations before.

"It's... beautiful."

"Put it on."

She did so, feeling undiluted feminine joy course through her veins. Really, she'd never fully appreciated the joys of being female until her alliance with Lucius. With that thought in mind, she turned hungry and thankful eyes onto her dinner partner.

He was refilling her wine glass again. A small part of her mind made note of that, but the rest of her was inclined to ignore it.

"I am afraid you are still lacking," he murmured appreciatively.

"What am I lacking now?" she murmured back, ignoring the cry of indignation that came from the same small part of her mind that was taking notes on her wine consumption.

He stood then and walked around the table. Hermione was reminded of a predator and the image brought to mind made her giggle before his finger delicately tracing her collar wiped her mind completely clean.

"Yes... You are missing this."

It took her a minute to realize the weight on her neck had to be a necklace, something he was fond of providing her, and another minute for him to sift through her hair so he could fasten it. His hands remained in her hair when he was done, though whether that was by choice or entanglement was not known. She chose to ignore the reason and instead enjoyed the feeling even as she conjured a mirror to see the new addition to her ensemble. Her drunkness threw off her ability a bit, but even the shiny metal that resulted was reflective enough to show her exactly how much opulence she was adorned with.

"Wow..."

She turned to look up at him in attempt to relay her gratitude in a more satisfactory manner but only succeeded in losing concentration when her eyes met his.

"Now, you are perfect."

She wasn't quite sure how she could be perfect when she was gaping up at him like that, but whatever it was that he saw she certainly wasn't going to argue with it, especially not when he actually bent down and kissed her. She wasn't sure what shocked her more: that he had kissed her, and was kissing her so enthusiastically, or that he had actually lowered himself to do it. That he had only made her respond all the more passionately.

Lucius couldn't be happier. Whether she realized it yet or not, Hermione Granger was now officially his betrothed. Her kiss was a little sloppy from her inebriation, but she would not have been so eager had she been sober, so it was all well. And really, with her hair untamed like this, it made him so much less hesitant to wrap his hands in it -- after all, it was not as if he could muss it up any.

And then she was moving toward him, rising from her chair and bringing her own hands into the fun, and he frankly couldn't care less about her hair when she was doing that delightful thing with her tongue. She seemed to be directing him backwards into the parlour and onto the chaise, and he was not inclined to stop, especially when she climbed on top of him like that.

However, the minute she moved her hips in what was probably an unconscious and timeless move, he remembered why he had never thought to inebriate and take advantage of her before.

"My pet... we must stop."

She ignored him, focussing with her typical single-mindedness on his neck.

"My pet... please stop."

"Why?"

"We must wait til we are wed."

"You would wait even for a show marriage?"

"There will be no show marriage. You've agreed to be my wife."

"Mmmmm?"

"The show has ended. You, Hermione Granger, will be my wife."

She ceased her activity and looked at him dumbly, the wine and her hormones making his statement take some time to process.

"You proposed?"

"And you agreed."

"As Helen."

"I did not ask Helen."

"Oh." She paused. "You tricked me."

"Did I?"

"Yes." However, it seemed to bother her little. In fact, it seemed to make her all the more enthusiastic as she once again attached herself to his neck. He groaned with frustration.

"My pet, stop."

"Why must we wait?"

"Because we must."

"But why?"

"It is only proper."

"Propriety has no business here."

"You must understand, I simply cannot."

"And why not? Am I so undesirable? Why do you want me then?"

The alcohol was making it so much harder to stop her tears from gathering. He took note that the next time he got her drunk, he'd make sure nothing stood in the way of him having her or risk having her turn into an emotional mess, or at least, an emotional mess that he could not profit from.

"It is precisely because you are desirable that I cannot." He paused, preparing for the moment of truth. "There is... a reason I am familiar with the _adulterium nequeo_ curse."

He regarded that perhaps it had been a bit too much alcohol because it was taking her entirely too long to understand his point.

"Oh... You can't..."

"Precisely."

"But..."

"It is a matter of tradition amongst the Malfoy family. Apparently Malfoy women felt it necessary to enforce after a string of disastrous affairs. I had thought perhaps the curse would take my divorce into consideration but apparently not."

"... so Draco was lying about that night with Pansy?"

"Of course."

She snickered. She couldn't help it, and she couldn't even remember why she should try to stop until his smirk took a distinctive turn into a sneer.

"I'm sorry... It's not funny... But Pansy was saying..."

He understood a bit better, but it still didn't make him any happier. After all, when one has a ready and willing female at hand but is unable to take do anything about it, one will be frustrated.

"My pet, I want nothing more than to devour you whole. But until we wed, it is impossible."

"Then hurry up and marry me. I have Plans too, you know."

He smirked at that.

"Two weeks, my pet. Wait two weeks, and you will have me forever."

* * *

"You agreed to truly and legally marry Mr. Malfoy so that you could be intimate." 

"When you put it like that, it does sound rather bad. But really, I was already in love with him. Considering we'd been playing at marriage, it was only a matter of time before I actually did marry him. But yes, sex was a deciding factor in the rush."

"You are aware that you are not accountable for agreements made under the effects of restricted potions."

"Yes, but there was no potion involved, only simple over indulgence of wine. Besides, ignoring a bit of morning-after insanity, I did not regret the decision."

"Morning-after insanity?"

* * *

The headache that greeted her in the morning was not to be rivaled. 

The frustration she felt when she realized there was no hangover potion in her cabinet to resolve it made it all the more painful. She would have cursed the day she stopped stocking it in the effort to keep Ron and Harry sober, but cursing would require entirely too much energy and just the thought of cursing made her headache worse.

Such was it that when she finally made it to the Great Hall after most had already left, her first order of business was to trade her usual tea for black coffee.

"Granger!"

Before she'd even managed to take a sip, Draco was upon her with a unquestionably happy expression that was somewhere between smirk and grin.

"I understand congratulations are in order."

She sipped her coffee, trying to block out his voice even as she tried to figure out what in Merlin's name he was speaking of.

"My Father sent this for you. He would have sent it directly but was a bit unsure about publicity."

She took a large gulp of the coffee, managing to burn her throat but feeling a bit more human regardless, before accepting the envelope. Opening it slowly, and taking a break to still her dizzy head, she finally was able to pull enough of her remaining brain cells together to read it.

With a definitive click, she remembered everything.

"I am getting married."

"Yes, you are."

"To Lucius Malfoy."

"He could not be happier."

"Your father."

"Of course."

"Bloody Hell."

* * *

"Draco brought Madam Malfoy to me shortly after I recieved an Owl from Lucius. Apparently, he had to Immobilize his prospective step-mother to keep her from harming anyone. I administered a Calming Drought before ending the charm." 

"You thought nothing of her reaction?"

"You fail once again to listen. I suppose I should expect as much from one such as you. Madam Malfoy has a volatile nature, and, I quickly discovered, the victim of overindulgence in alcohol. It was every bit understandable."

"And why did Mister Malfoy write to you in regards to his upcoming nuptials."

The Professor sneered unapologetically.

"I assume I was one of the few persons aware of the true nature of their relationship. In addition, he had a favor to ask of me."

"What favor was that?"

"He remembered, as few have, that I retain an unlikely title."

"And that is?"

"I am a superindendent registrar. He wished me to perform the ceremony."

* * *


	10. Unseemly Interest in Curtains

**Falsity  
**_Just A Penniless Writer_

_**Disclaimer:**_ Nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Plea:_** Been a while, eh? The chapter title is as much about me as it is about anything in the story. You'll know what I mean. Enjoy if you can.

**Part 9: An Unseemly Interest in Curtains**

A commotion outside the door caused the Auror and the Accused to look up with some amount of interest. When the messenger --a Weasley, the Accused noticed with a superior smirk-- entered and managed with a single nod to verify the outrageous claim the Accused had made, the Auror turned a venomous glare onto the Accused. The Accused merely smirked with the knowledge that his own venomous glare was much better.

"Very well. Did you face any opposition when you informed Professor Snape of your desire for his services?"

"If you are asking whether he opposed the wedding itself, the answer is no. However, he did have some... qualms regarding performing the ceremony himself."

"And why was that?"

"For one, I doubt he truly felt comfortable in such an affectionate setting. As well, he worried over the consequences that might befall him when the reality of the marriage was exposed."

"How did you convince him?"

A smirk slowly formed on the Accused's face before he responded with all the fake innocence he could muster.

"By assuring him that he would face no punishment if he accepted."

* * *

"No." 

The Potions Professor, who had all but been expecting this from the moment he realized who 'Helen' was, held fast to his statement.

"Severus, she is of age. She is even consenting."

Lucius was absolutely not pleading. After all, Malfoy's didn't plead, ever. They wheedled.

"It would be entirely legal, and no one could find you at fault. She would merely be a stupid girl corrupted by me."

"No one could find me at fault? She is my student, Lucius. Dumbledore will surely kill me. Merlin knows he has been wanting to," the Potions Professor snarled.

"Really?" Lucius asked with interest. "I was of the opinion he thought you his pet."

"Did you truly think I wanted to play spy? That I wanted to teach these incompetent dunderheads for this long?"

"It was something I had questioned. But then I thought, perhaps, you were atoning for some imagined sin."

"Hmph. I created a particularly strong adhesive in my fifth year that ended up in Albus' beard. That is my 'sin'."

"He has held this grudge for this long?"

"Dear Merlin, yes. He is rather fond of the beard."

There was a pause as both men attempted to block the ideas that such a fondness spurred.

"Well then, Severus, I see only one course of action. You must marry us."

"And how did you come to such a conclusion?"

"It is quite obvious, I assure you. My beautiful fiancée has taught me that the easiest place to hide a lie is in the truth. Once our marriage is announced, there will be general uproar. Albus will never believe our love. He will need someone to gather proof of my treachery, someone I might trust. A co-conspirator even."

Lucius was aware the instant the idea hit his friend. There was hope in the professor's eyes, something that hadn't been here as far back as Lucius could remember. It was somewhat frightening.

"He will send me to spy."

"And you cannot do that when you have to worry about returning to Hogwarts."

"No more insufferable children." A nastily happy gleam attached itself to hope in the dark man's eyes. "Have the girl ready next Saturday and I will have you married."

* * *

"No bribery? No threats?" 

"Absolutely not. I explained that the legalities of the marriage could not be questioned" -- Lucius pointedly glared at the Auror-- "and convinced him of my honesty."

"And so the wedding occurred without any problems?"

"Exactly as planned." He paused. "Except for her parents."

* * *

His bride-to-be was looking even more radiant as the Day approached. Her simultaneous smile and smirk was ever much befitting a Malfoy, and it made his twisted heart sing with glee. 

Such was it that when Hermione approached him one day with a particularly sneaky expression, he only felt all the happier.

Until she revealed her heinous plan.

"Lucius..."

"Yes, my pet."

"I was thinking... it seems wrong that I will have no one representing me at the ceremony."

"You will have Draco and Severus."

"They cannot represent me simply because they are acquainted with me," she huffed.

"Seven years is more than 'acquainted', my pet."

"Regardless, Draco is already representing you, and as Professor Snape is performing the ceremony, he cannot represent."

She paused dramatically and he revelled in how much he had taught her.

"So, my love..." The sweetness of the epithet was tainted, or strengthened perhaps, by the devious spark in her eye. "Who will be representing me?"

There was almost a teasing tone in her voice that did not set well with him. Still, he took the bait despite his better judgement.

"Who would you like to represent you, my pet?"

Her answering smirk was every bit as malicious as it was delicious.

* * *

The Auror looked at her in disbelief, which was possibly the nicest, most sincere expression he'd had for her throughout the interview. 

"You... your parents attended the wedding?"

"Of course. What sort of daughter would I be if I hadn't arranged for my parents to witness my marriage?"

"They did not protest?"

"Not one bit. They were happy for me, as they rightly should be."

"But Muggles... surely they would have noticed Mister Malfoy's age and... personality."

She smiled and shook her head with exasperation.

"My parents noticed his teeth. That was enough."

* * *

Lucius wished he could say that the day he married Hermione Granger, Nature Itself tried to stop him. 

Unfortunately, or fortunately as it were, the day of the wedding dawned blue and clear. The touch of chill that was in the air when Hermione arrived at the manor that morning was gone before noon. It was an entirely pleasant day.

However, Lucius, in all his Pureblood splendour, was nervous. The marriage itself was not an issue. No, he would be perfectly happy with his marvellous little woman forever plotting by his side. Rather it was the first stirrings of panic that her parents, Muggles that they were, would spoil the whole show.

He refused to admit it was nerves that had him pacing the parlour. Of course not; it was more that he had put so much effort into securing Hermione as his wife only to have it possibly ruined by two mere Muggles. It would a ridiculously ironic end to a truly brilliant scheme. It would be absolutely... tragic.

He needn't have been worried.

"Oh. What a pretty place this is."

The slightly airy phrase made him aware of the arrival of his "honoured guests". Stepping back into the relative safety of the parlour, he waited.

"Mother, put down the curtains."

"I think this is real velvet. Roland, what do you think?"

"Father, put down the curtains."

"I believe you are correct, Marie. Hermione, this boy you are marrying lives here?"

"Yes, Father, now please put down the curtains."

"Wonderful! I knew this magic business would help make you a good match. Now where is the lad?"

"He is not a 'lad', Father."

"Of course he isn't."

Lucius hid his cringe with a sneer. It wouldn't do for him to ever be seen cringing even if there were no obvious witnesses.

"Now put down the curtains, Mother, and you can meet my betrothed."

He took that as his sign to prepare. Taking a deep breath, and attempting to remember to keep at least some of the maliciousness off his expression, he readied himself to meet what could possibly be his doom.

Two Muggles, looking entirely out of place with their loud matching sweaters, wandered into the parlour trailed by an embarrassed Hermione. She paused, taking her own deep breath before giving the Much Anticipated Introduction.

"Mum, Dad, this is Lucius Malfoy, the man I am to marry today."

Despite their looks of discontent, he forced himself to smile and greet them properly. Let it never be said that he could not act the proper gentleman.

His gesture was received much better than he had ever expected.

"My my, you have marvellous teeth. Tell me, did you use magic to get them so straight?"

"What kind of... is it 'potion', Hermione? Yes, what sort of potion do you use to whiten?"

After ten lengthy minutes of being subject to discussion involving words such as bicuspid and molar, Lucius was mighty surprised when Roland Granger turned to his erstwhile blushing daughter and said with a bright smile, "Wonderful husband you've picked, Hermione."

Lucius' wide-eyed expression of amazement looked so utterly wrong on his pointed features that Hermione could not help it. Despite the occasion, or perhaps because of it, she laughed. She laughed with absolute abandon and laughed all the harder when her parents wandered off to further examine the draperies. She was still laughing when her bridegroom approached, his eyes looking all but deadly.

"Laugh now, my pet," he whispered into her ear. "You will not be laughing after the ceremony."

It was a threat if she had ever heard one, but it was such a well done and deliciously promising threat that she couldn't help but catch her breath and lean into him.

"Only if you are good," she whispered back before promptly breaking into laughter once more.

Simultaneously grumpy and excited, Lucius contented himself with stealing a kiss that shut her up rather nicely.

"I am never good. Now, my pet, if it is not too much of an inconvenience to you, I would like to marry you sometime today," he drawled smoothly when he finally deigned to let her go.

"Of course," she mumbled before wandering off to the dressing suite to prepare for her wedding.

Lucius could not help but smile smugly. Truly it was a marvellous day to get married.

* * *

"The wedding went on without any problems?" 

"Well, there were a few insects, and a gust of wind nearly sent Granger's robes up. That would have been traumatic."

"But no objections, no nothing?"

"Of course not. Do you really suppose my father would invite someone objectionable to his wedding? I think not."

"And you did not find Miss Granger's parents to be in an odd state of mind?"

"I did, but then I supposed at first they were just Muggles. Never know what to expect with Muggles. However, after listening to them ramble on about the curtains, I finally asked Granger if perhaps Imperio wasn't the best spell to use on the day of one's wedding."

"And how did she respond?"

"She just grinned and said her parents were just odd. I thought her odd for saying so, but then after being harassed by them over the state of my teeth, I had to agree. Anyone who spends that much time looking into mouths must be off."

"And so it... happened?"

"It happened. They were wed by Professor Snape under the laws of the Ministry of Magic. There was a small reception following, which they left early. Once the sounds began to be heard, the rest of us quickly dispersed."

"Sounds?" the Auror asked with a creased brow.

"Yes, sounds," Draco explained to the thick idiot. "Do you particularly think I wanted to hear the honeymoon acts of my Father and schoolmate?"

The Auror visibly gulped. Draco smirked in return.

"I thought not."

* * *


	11. Fundamentals of a Happy Marriage

**Falsity**  
_Just A Penniless Writer_

**_Standard Disclaimer Applies  
Author's Plea:_** For those who are actually still interested in this story, my apologies. I have neither a good nor witty excuse. Barely edited. Enjoy if you can.

**Part 11: The Fundamentals of a Successful Marriage**

"And so, Miss Granger," he paused and seemed to pop his jaw before continuing. "Three weeks ago you were married, apparently in a legally binding ceremony by a Superintendent Registrar of the Ministry of Magic without any coercion. Is this true?"

The Auror was fuming, she could tell. She also didn't particularly care. After all, he was only fuming because he was incorrect and she was so vividly proving him wrong. Altogether, it was entirely his own fault for being so certain in his incorrectness.

She pitied him, really.

"It is true." She smiled in remembrance. "It was the happiest day of my life."

A groan from one of the assembled spectators that yet remained told her the flowery sentiment was well received.

"You were married legally yet no knowledge of your marriage was brought to Ministry attention. How is this so, Miss Granger?"

"Simple, really, if you had only done your research. Did you know that the Ministry only requires notification that a marriage has taken place without actual documentation of the participants for up to 15 days? It was a law enacted in 1872 to protect marriages that families might otherwise object to."

The Auror practically growled his frustration.

She merely smirked. Those present later swore that it was this smirk that proved once and for all the truth of her marriage.

"Very well, Miss Granger, how did you occupy the time before you were bound to be discovered?"

Her smirk brightened.

"I was a newlywed. How do you suppose I occupied my time?"

* * *

Truth be told, she was tired. Tired in that good way, but still tired. She wasn't even sure why she had accepted her new husband's ex-wife's invitation to Sunday tea except that she had it on authority from Draco that it was this woman that had convinced Lucius to let go, at least partially, of his prejudice. 

Narcissa obviously deserved infinite gratitude for such an awe inspiring act.

"It is a wonder no one has become the wiser to your new state of matrimony," the prim woman stated. "You are simply glowing."

"I hardly see anyone anymore that isn't already aware. I only remain at Hogwarts for class and mandatory meetings. The rest of my time, including NEWT revision, is spent at the Manor. I am more surprised no one has noticed my absence."

"Still, that is no excuse for the populace to ignore something so obvious. Really, do they teach children nothing useful these days?"

"Of course not," Hermione dutifully answered. "The Ministry would never approve."

Narcissa, for all her splendour, wanted to laugh. However, laughing was too close to giggling and the like, which were simply Not Acceptable, not to mention irreparable to her well kept skin. Instead, she smothered the impulse thoroughly, letting only an appreciative smile come through which was far less damaging. The smile Hermione returned was all-knowing even if there was evidence of its continual use already making itself known on her young face. Narcissa kept politely quiet of this fact as she figured marrying an older man hardly made physical upkeep of one's self absolutely necessary. Perhaps the young bride believed lines made her look distinguished?

The afternoon was filled with polite conversation, a heated discussion on the terribly disgusting practice of putting cream in tea, and awkward silences, partially because despite her recently acquired social knowledge courtesy of her experiences as Helen, Hermione was still uncomfortable in such a setting, and partially because Narcissa had a nagging question on her mind that simply would not leave her alone.

Finally, after several cups of tea and an hour of nibbling away on some cake, Narcissa finally could keep quiet no longer.

"Hermione, dear... I would like to think there are certain issues I can address with you because of our mutual interest in Lucius."

"Of course. As his former wife, you have every right to provide input, and perhaps insight."

"I am glad we are in agreement." She paused delicately, setting down her cup with all the poise she had inherently been born with. "I wished to speak to you before the wedding regarding particular... facets of Lucius that might not have been immediately noticeable outside the bedroom."

It was quite obvious that Hermione was instantly paying absolute attention. That gleam in her eyes was well known to every Hogwarts professor.

"However," the blonde continued, "Now that you have had a week in his company, I imagine you are becoming more aware of his particular... preferences."

"Preferences... It is all fairly new to me, but I suppose I have noticed some... preferences," Hermione responded slowly.

"I suppose you must have noticed his... preferences by now."

"Yes..."

Narcissa paused in an attempt to work the wording of her intended phrase to make it as delicate as possible. After several long minutes and an attempt to surreptitiously summon a thesaurus, she gave up.

"He is incredibly lazy in bed, is he not?"

Hermione began to choke on her tea.

"I suppose some could call it submissive, but he is rather bossy even as you are doing all the work," Narcissa continued undaunted.

Hermione struggled not to suffocate.

"It pleased me so when Draco was born. By then I was so exhausted of the same tiring experience every single time... well, I did not complain when he stopped visiting my bedroom every month."

Hermione struggled to suffocate.

"I felt it was only proper to warn you. As well, though Lucius is in his prime now, I'm afraid he will only deteriorate. I fear what such a thing will do to his particular urges."

Speech finished, Narcissa picked up her tea again. In spite of her subject matter, she looked every bit as demure as a person possibly could.

It took Hermione a complete ten minutes before she was able to compose a reply, which she thought was a rather respectable amount of time considering the circumstances.

"I understand your... concern, Narcissa, but I assure you it is misplaced."

The puzzled expression was not feigned.

"You do not mind his laziness?"

"Of course I would mind. However, I have found ways around it." She paused to smirk happily. "He is bossy, isn't he? Nonetheless, I find he is significantly less so if he is unable to speak. "

Of course, Narcissa had tried this very thing in the past to little effect. Instead of any form of success, she distinctly remembered Lucius being particularly petulant after the fact and averse to being anywhere near her should she try it again.

"And he... approves?"

"Not at first. When I explained the necessity, he didn't seem to mind so much."

"Necessity?"

"After our first round that night, which consisted of more enthusiasm than skill, I clued in on exactly what he expected from regular sex. By the next afternoon I was terribly disappointed. I suppose I should have known better; after all, everyone knows that no one shags like a Hufflepuff."

"Of course," Narcissa readily agreed. It was indeed common knowledge and those with personal experience were greatly envied.

"By this time, I was particularly frustrated. 'Not that way, you silly girl!', 'No, I like you better on top', 'Stay right there and lean eighteen centimetres to your left', 'You are a good pet, yes you are'... I mean really, was anything he said supposed to be the least bit arousing?"

Narcissa rightly remained quiet and merely took another demure sip of her tea.

"And Lucius was... at the limit of his stamina. Which is exactly why I thought some tea would be useful. That it included a dissolved tablet of distilled and fermented Pepper Up potion simply wasn't something I chose to mention. From there, it was only a matter of persuasion. I find that men who cannot think for want of release often agree to just about anything. It's a particularly useful truth."

Narcissa was quite proud that her expression remained blank and did not display, other than a slight tic in the corner of her lip, her thoughts on the matter. She suspected and almost worried that no one, especially her former husband, knew exactly what Hermione Malfoy nee Granger was capable of. Of course, it meant the girl suited the man that much more, but still, everyone's ignorance would be costly and certainly make life a bit interesting.

She was looking forward to it. After all, spectacles were always so much fun to watch.

Another half hour was spent mentally taking notes of Hermione's suggestions and helpful tips to a blissful marriage before the newlywed excused herself in favour of studying, though Narcissa noticed it was not Hogsmeade she commanded the Floo to transport her to.

As she scrambled with all due dignity for parchment for which to jot down all she had learned, she allowed herself a small grin, consequences be damned. With everything Hermione had explained about Muggle concepts as applied to potions, it was quite possible to kill the wrinkle anyways.

Altogether, she thought it had been a highly informative tea.

* * *

"Mister Malfoy, once you married Miss Granger, though the circumstances behind the marriage are still in doubt, you knew your time with this… secret was to come to an end." 

The Accused thought the Auror had a rather dull way of stating the obvious.

"Of course. I married a beautiful and intelligent young woman, with a particularly useful reputation. Did you particularly think I would keep her to myself? I admit I am greedy, but the public knowledge of our union was much more valuable."

The Accused paused, a particular gleam forming in his sharp eyes as a dirty little smirk played on his lips.

"Still… Three weeks with my young new wife to myself were quite… enriching. I believe I shall have to keep her to myself more often."

* * *

His new wife was trying to study. 

Diligently perched on the edge of a Victorian chair as she bent over supplemental reading and furiously scratched notes in a precise shorthand that defied logic, she was practically begging for Lucius to distract her. It had been several hours since their last session and whatever substance she had taken to adding to his tea was relentless in its generosity. As well, her neck was practically begging for his touch when she so wantonly displayed it like that.

"Lucius… stop it. You know how much I dislike it when you distract me from my work."

"And you know how much it pleases me, my pet."

"Why did I bother making rules if you insist on breaking them?"

"I could ask the same of you, my pet."

"And no more of this 'my pet' business. I may have pardoned it as Helen, but I certainly will not as Madam Malfoy."

"My pet, I hardly see how you can disallow me to do anything."

"My _darling_, I hardly see how you can still trust to drink your tea."

He swallowed thickly and tried to remember if there had been any particularly different in the taste of his tea. However, the recent addition of the Pepper Up made it just unfamiliar enough to mask the tastes of any additional substances that may have been added. It occurred to him then that his wives, both past and present, seemed to share an affinity for slipping him potions, and perhaps it was a weakness he should address.

But Hermione was staring at him with the same cocky expression he took whenever he was about to exploit a weaker individual, and he knew that whatever she slipped him was fine as long as he continued to receive that look. After all, that look on her sweetly manipulative features meant he was about to be thoroughly pleased, even if she did make him do all the work.

Still, it was best to remember not to overly irritate her or risk waking with a crucial piece of his anatomy missing. She was capable of worse.

"I suppose one more time couldn't hurt. But then, Lucius, I must finish these notes and return to Hogwarts before anyone gets suspicious."

He smirked even as she led him to their bedroom.

* * *

"You state that you have consummated your marriage, and therefore cannot be subject to an annulment." 

"I believe I more than stated that. Or perhaps you'd like details? Just the other day Lucius did this delightful thing with his little finger that—"

"That is quite enough, Miss Granger. There is no need to be vulgar."

"I hardly believe I can be accused of vulgarity in this farce. You are the one questioning my use of my wedding bed."

"Miss Granger, you will calm yourself, or I will have you restrained."

"You will do no such thing if you know what is good for you, Auror Bliley."

The two glared harshly at each other for several long moments before the Interrogator looked away. She smirked grinned victoriously as she settled her pose into something more befitting her station.

"You were continually absent from Hogwarts for three weeks," the Auror began with a sneer. "No one noticed, Miss Granger. What does this tell you?"

Hermione sniffed with affront. This man obviously did not have a future in politics, especially not once she finished her schooling. She would make sure of it.

"It tells me that my friends had some understanding that whatever I was doing elsewhere, it was important to me."

"Friends, Miss Granger? I suppose you mean Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley."

"No, I mean Professor Binns," she replied scathingly. "Yes, Harry and Ron. Though they may not be the most attentive of boys, they certainly did question me regarding my absence. I was honest when I told them I was working on a project in addition to studying for NEWTs and therefore unlikely to be seen much. They trusted me enough not to ask what project or where I was studying."

"How have Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley taken the news of your marriage? Or have you bothered to inform them of your nuptials."

"Actually," she responded with that now all too familiar smirk, "Other than Professor Snape, Harry and Ron were the first to know."

* * *


	12. An Increase in Potency

**Falsity**  
_Just A Penniless Writer_

**Part 12: An Increase in Potency**

When the Auror returned to the room, the Interviewee looked up with more than a little smugness.

"Ah, my water. Finally, _someone_ shows a bit of civility. I was beginning to believe the Ministry to be peopled entirely of barbarians."

The Auror frowned but otherwise handed the poor quality goblet over to the Interviewee without comment.

When his keeper made no move to continue the interview, Draco put down the emptied goblet and smirked grandly.

"I'm supposing from your expression that you heard on your excursion out of the room some bit of controversial news from Granger's interrogation. What was it? Snape's wedding gift? Mother's tea time with Granger? Or perhaps it was Potter and Weasley's involvement towards the end."

When the Auror lifted puzzled eyes to face the youngest Malfoy, Draco's smirk only widened.

"Did you really believe Granger could seriously hide anything from those two bumbling idiots? They may be complete imbeciles, but even I have to admit that constant paranoia does eventually have its pay off. In this case, Granger _was_ acting more than a bit suspiciously by simply not being at Hogwarts. It was really only a matter of time before they started getting curious. I'm only pleased I wasn't forced into _that_ mess."

He would have shivered but that was behaviour unbecoming of a Malfoy. Now that his father had raised the bar, he had much to live up to.

* * *

It took less than a week before Lucius was very securely under Hermione's thumb, a triumph which could only be considered Monumental. 

Of course, Lucius didn't see it quite like that, but that was only because he was so very misguided in believing he could ever gain control of her. Hermione thought his insistent belief that she was very securely under his thumb quite adorable.

She was almost considering resting on her laurels (because surely there could be no challenge as great as subduing Lucius Malfoy). However, she was hardly content to dawdle or rest at all. Resting was for the weak, and she would not be happily married to a former Death Eater were she weak.

No, now was the time for the next challenge. The challenge that she came upon one day while stealthily returning back to her quarters at Hogwarts promised to be almost as difficult as marrying Lucius.

"Hermione."

"Harry. Ron. It is near midnight, and you are without your Cloak. You had better get back to your room before Filch finds you."

"It is near midnight and you are just now returning to castle. You had better explain."

"I was in the li-"

"We checked the library."

And Merlin help her if Ron didn't sound petulant that he'd actually had to visit the library.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try us."

"It's... Come inside, would you? I hardly wish to explain to the hallway."

Once she had ushered the boys into her room, she immediately set about preparing herself for what was surely going to be an interesting experience. For the boys, she poured some decaffeinated tea. Adding a pinch of her own concoction was an added precaution. For herself, it was one discreet sip of Unctuous Unction with a pinch of prevalence powder. Only then she was ready to face the issue at hand.

The Issue at Hand was still busy admiring the chamber she'd wrangled for herself from the Headmaster when she had first learned she had not been granted the Head Girl title. While she knew for a fact she was not sociable enough for such a role, nor did she really have the time, she'd had her eye on the Head Girl room for years. Luckily, it only took four hours of 'discussion' before the Headmaster relented and granted approval for a private room of her own.

It seemed that she was always managing Successes of Such Magnitude, and she only wondered what could possibly top her most recent Success. Perhaps overtaking the Ministry? Ah, but that would have to wait until a better day. NEWTs were far too taxing for such a thing right now.

"Now," she said resolutely while handing the tea cups to the boys. "What is it you wish to know?"

"What the bloody hell have you been doing?"

"Drink your tea. This is going to take awhile."

"It smells funny."

"It's herbal. Drink it."

"It tastes funny."

"Drink it or I won't tell you."

Both boys gave her a suspicious look but emptied their cups regardless. She grinned. It was nice to still be trusted. Hopefully, her efforts would ensure that she keep that trust. It wouldn't do to end up in the same frightful political position as Lucius when there was still so far she could go.

"Now," she began again. "Where to begin..."

"The beginning?"

"That's a terrible place to start, Ron. Really, everything is much more interesting in the middle."

The boys gave her a dumbfounded look, so she continued. It was her hope that they would remain confused the entire evening, and therefore be unable to become suitably angry once they learned of her new status.

"Perhaps you are right, this once. Not quite the beginning, but still… Ron, do you remember that week right after the war when we tried to date?"

"Yes…"

"Remember how miserable we were?"

"Yes…"

"Remember how, when we both came to our senses, you said I probably needed someone a lot more intellectually challenging?"

"I didn't quite say that…"

"Actually, you said 'Good luck finding a bloke that will give a damn to any of that rubbish you say', but that was generally what you meant and I forgive you for your callousness."

Still dumbfounded. Good.

"What I mean to say is that I have discovered a way of ensuring that certain expected individuals do not take certain expected actions in light of all that has occurred after the war. Additionally, I have found a man who finds my 'rubbish' taxing but cannot afford not to listen."

"Um… You mean to say that you're making sure at least one idiotic former Death Eater doesn't try to relive the glory days by boring him to death?"

"Precisely, though I do prefer my own explanation."

"How?"

"Through very particular, though legal means I assure you, I have managed to bind him to me."

"How? The Unbreakable Oath?"

"Absolutely not. I have every belief that he would have figured a way around it. I was looking for more of a long term solution."

"What kind of long term solution?"

"Matrimony."

They stared blankly at her for so long she thought perhaps she had added a bit too much Confundus essence to their tea.

"You…"

"You're _married_?"

She nodded sharply, giving every indication of maturity and decisiveness. It wouldn't pay for them to start doubting her now.

"I apologize for not inviting you, but it might have sparked a bit of resistance in him. He hasn't been completely under my control until recently."

"But… Hermione… You're married?"

"Yes, Ron. Married. It was the least I could do to prevent another war."

"Hermione, you didn't have to—"

"I assure you, I did have to, Harry. After speaking with him, I realized it was the only option."

They were silent as the boys adjusted to the information she had just provided. However, they were intuitive if nothing else, even considering the assorted potions they were under, and the question came before long.

"So… Who?"

"Malfoy."

"You married _Draco_? No wonder he's been looking so defeated…"

"No, actually."

"Then who?"

"His father."

She counted exactly four seconds before they exploded.

"Lucius Malfoy!" Harry first then. She had given him only a forty percent likelihood of exploding first, but then he was always good at throwing off her calculations.

"But—" Now Ron joined in, but he wasn't quite as loud as usual. The tea seemed to be working after all. She congratulated herself on thinking to add the Calming essence.

"We _never_ would have asked you—" And there was Harry, jumping to conclusions and feeling guilty despite that she had never once acknowledged that he had anything to do with this.

"Lucius Malfoy!" And there was Ron, as articulate as usual. Perhaps she should have added more Calming essence.

She gave them another three minutes of spluttering before continuing onward.

"Yes, Lucius Malfoy. I assure you, it was not what I had in mind when I first came upon him, but I soon found there was little choice in the matter. You can rest assured that I have taken every precaution and have found means to keep him in line."

Harry was quiet now, merely staring at her with that unreadable yet completely disapproving expression. Ron had chosen the route of incredulity.

"You can't be serious."

Instead of arguing with him further, she disenchanted her rather tacky wedding ring and presented it without flourish.

"Do you know he had to remove eighteen different Dark charms from the ring before I could even consider wearing it? Apparently, it's never been on the finger of a Muggleborn before."

"Merlin! That rock is the size of a Grindylow!"

"Not quite. A bit annoying though. Always in the way, and I had to charm it to stay straight on my finger. It kept twisting around, scratching my parchment while I worked."

"Is that the Malfoy crest?"

"Yes. A bit ostentatious, don't you think? All the snakes and dragons and such. But he simply wouldn't hear of getting a different ring. Maybe next month."

She made the mistake of ignoring the boys while she eyed the ring with a dissatisfied expression. It really was in poor taste, and it seemed to be the only point of contention she was unlikely to win. While she was thusly occupied, the boys turned to each other and seemed to, in the strangely psychic way that boys of similar dispositions are able to do, reach a decision with a simple look and drew their wands.

"_Incarcerous_!"

When Hermione found herself bound together by Gryffindor coloured ropes, she vowed that the next time she drugged the boys' tea, she would increase the potency. Obviously this formula was flawed.

"And what exactly do you mean to do now?" she said irritably, drawing on all her reserves of patience to prevent a full out massacre. After all, it would only damage her Plans to end up in Azkaban for killing the Boy Who Lived.

"Merlin, Harry. She sounds just like him now!"

"For all we know, she _is_ him. We're all going to sit right here and wait for the Polyjuice to wear off. _Then_ we'll know what to do."

She sighed but knew there was nothing for it. It was just a matter of waiting until they finally accepted the truth of what she'd told them.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"And how did Mr. Potter take the news of your marriage to his rival's father?" 

Hermione stared at the Auror pointedly.

"How do you think he took it? It took _hours_ of arguments and occasional spells before he would even consider believing me. When it did set in, it took a full day before he could look at me again."

"And what of Helen?"

"Oh, it took them half of that first night just to come to the realization that I was, in fact, Helen, and another several hours for them to drag out all their ragged copies of the _Daily Prophet_ in which Helen was mentioned and match them up to their own knowledge of my absences. Really, I was quite impressed with how professional they were being. Certainly more so than the Ministry."

"And then, Miss Granger?"

"It was only then that they found truth in what I was saying. It was only then they realized that I _am_ married to Lucius Malfoy and am _not_ under any sort of mind control or unethical persuasion. I am very pleased with the turns my life has taken in regards to my dear husband. The only portion of this entire ordeal that I regret is having to sit through this farce of an interview."

"Calm down, Miss Granger."

"I see no point. If you have more questions regarding Harry's response, I suggest asking him when he returns from his vacation – vacation _I_ provided, for your information."

"Disposing of evidence, were you?"

"I did no such thing! Harry mentioned a few days ago how terribly disenchanted he was with school. Considering all the work he missed due to interviews and the like, I agreed that a trip would be best. I owe him my life and his friendship – it was the least I could do to get him some time to think."

"We shall see," the Auror said snidely. Hermione arched her brow as her ire rose to an unheard level. The spectators could only guess that some of her new acquaintances' attitudes and afflictions had been transferred to her.

"That is _enough_. Now… you have five more minutes until I walk out that door to find my husband. Chose your questions wisely."

* * *

"By now, you've come to determine that all paperwork regarding my marriage to Hermione is correct and in order. You have no proof of treachery else I would be in Azkaban already. Furthermore, the media has no doubt caught on to the happenings within these rooms and is pressuring for some sort of announcement." 

The Auror frowned. It was the first expression that Lucius thought the man did halfway well. All others were rubbish and should never be attempted by the man again.

"If I know my dear wife, which I can assure you I _do_, she is even now clamouring for freedom. I am not one to instruct her in increasing her reserves of patience. I suggest you finish quickly before you find yourself unemployed."

* * *


	13. The Grand Finale

**Falsity  
**_Just A Penniless Writer_

_**Standard Disclaimer Applies  
**__**Author's Plea:**_ And this is the end. I hope it satisfies. I must say, it's been a strange journey, and much longer than I'd ever anticipated. Now that it's over, I'm not quite sure what to do... There are a few minor _Deathly Hallows _jokes. I wouldn't call them spoilers, and I certainly didn't bother changing the story to fit new canon. It is, as it has always been, only compliant (_if you could even call it that_) to book 5. Regardless, thank you for reading, and, as always, enjoy if you can.

**Part 13: The Grand Finale**

He was glaring in a dull, disinterested manner that made the glare indistinguishable from any other facial expression. She met his glare with a real glare that gave credit to the Malfoy name.

"Miss Granger, please refrain from threatening Ministry employees." His gaze broke for a single moment, but it was enough for her to know she had won. "However," he continued in a droll voice, "as this interview is coming to a close, I have only one more item to discuss."

She snorted. It was perhaps not as cultured as she could have endeavoured, but it was impossible to hold back. Her interrogator was a self-important swot, but he seemed particularly gifted at it. He was still annoying and insulting though and thus would face her soon-to-be considerable political powers. For the next five minutes, though, she would humour him.

"Please describe the events that lead to the mass break of the Do-Not-Recognize spell, and the exposure of your identity."

"I thought that was the most obvious portion of the entire tale. As I can see you are truly an ignorant idiot, I will attempt to correct the ignorance."

The deep breath she took was a necessity. The details of the event were still very fresh, and her frustration was near overpowering. Still, she hadn't made it so far without something resembling patience, and goodness knows she'd never have remained friends with the boys had she not invented new ways of glossing over unpleasantness.

"Despite our knowledge, or perhaps because of it, that the protection on the marriage registry would end, we decided to attend a dinner party held in our honour by our dear associate, Mr. Alias Barnum. It was held at Magnifique, an establishment Mr. Barnum is particularly fond of. It seems only fitting that the secret would be revealed exactly where it first publicly began."

* * *

"Are you sure this was wise?" Hermione whispered to her new husband while the dinner party guests began summoning their coats and cloaks. Mr. Barnum had already bid a happy farewell to the couple and was helping a young widower into her fur coat. Madam Barnum was watching with what might have been disdain on a livelier face. It would have been amusing had Hermione not felt so increasingly ill at ease. 

"You are too nervous. The night is almost over. It might have been a stretch to come here considering the wedding registry will finally list your name tomorrow, but until then the charm still holds. There is little chance anyone will manage to break the charm before the morning."

"Really?"

Lucius wanted to smile, but there were people watching. He settled for an approving smirk. It was so rare for her to need reassurance anymore that he found he appreciated it all the more when it did happen. He was quickly coming to realize that his new wife was a bit more demanding than he'd suspected so any exploitable weakness was cause to rejoice.

"The odds are astronomical," he whispered into her ear as he slipped her blue cloak over her shoulders.

She settled at that, taking the initiative to lean up and kiss his pointed chin. A few of the women not so discreetly watching the pair murmured their approval while the men cringed at the sappy display. It was one thing to hate Lucius for his influence and money; it was quite another thing entirely to hate him for making them look bad in front of their wives.

The blissful couple took no heed of their audience, instead bidding adieu again to the gracious host and taking their leave. They were so entranced with each other, looking forward to another evening spent in the monstrous master suite at the Manor (_studying of course. Hermione required two hours of studying before any other activity was permissible. NEWTs were right around the corner, after all!_), that they failed to remember the small crowd of press lying in wait outside the restaurant.

While they were accosted with questions ranging from Helen's favourite colour to whether Helen was actually the new form of You-Know-Who, one reporter was suddenly struck by a pronounced feeling of familiarity.

She'd felt a similar feeling in regards to the mysterious Helen twice before: once when the young woman smirked in a very particular fashion and again when the brat had written a venomous letter to her after she published an article regarding the couple's infamous break-up. Now she felt it again with greater urgency as she saw how the periwinkle blue of the woman's cloak made her look even younger, brighter, grander, as if she was attending some sort of spectacular ball…

"Hermione Granger?" she said dully. However, Rita Skeeter was not known for a low voice, so 'Helen' immediately turned to look at her with an appraising and almost fearful expression.

Almost immediately Rita's dull expression transformed into one of malicious understanding. She repeated the name with conviction and a menacing wink.

The illusion dropped quickly thereafter, and there was nothing either Lucius or Hermione could do to stop the drama that followed. When at last they escaped from the excited mob, it was with the understanding that their world would be drastically different in the morning.

* * *

"What you need to realize about this entire situation is that despite their differences, my father and my new step-mother are actually very similar in nature. Both manipulative and particular… such refined tastes were bound to be recognized as matching eventually. I have no doubt that, given time, they would _still_ have become partners even without my generous influence." 

"You really believe that?" the Auror asked curiously.

"Of course. You continually fail to see the embarrassing truth of this matter. It isn't just that my father married again, or even that he married Granger, a girl my own age. It's more that my father isn't _just_ using Granger. My father _loves_ her. He truly, honestly loves her. It is something of a tragedy for the Malfoy line, but at least he had the sense to love someone with such qualities befitting a Malfoy wife."

"Is love really so terrible?"

"Are you forgetting who you are speaking about? My father, Lucius Abraxas Malfoy, is not a man I even thought capable even capable of falling in love. I'm his own _son_, and I didn't think him capable of falling in love! How perfect is that? Had anyone told me what would happen, that he would fall in love, back when I first concocted the scheme to entertain him at his birthday, I would have hexed them."

Draco paused then, and looked all around the dreary little room without really seeing any of it, before smirking grandly.

"But I wouldn't change a single thing. Father is in love with her. He's _happy_ and for once his happiness isn't detrimental to our continued state of affairs. I could care less if he married a _Weasley_ if we could still claim such happiness -- though I suppose that is asking a bit much. A Weasley could never compare to Granger as a stepmother."

He was about to speak further, no doubt further explain the ways in which Weasleys were inferior to Hermione, but a ruckus at the door distracted him. A barking, angry voice was interrupted by a loud, controlled voice that he'd become well familiar with. His sneer grew wider.

"Speaking of my cunning little stepmother, I believe this interview has come to an end."

"But-- But--" the young Auror fumbled as he watched Draco stand and adjust his robes.

"By all means, go out there and explain to my new mother why you are keeping me here. It might be interesting."

The Auror was spared the indignity of response by the door unlocking itself before opening. Looking every bit the angry Queen of a disorderly country, Hermione stepped through.

"Hello, Stepmother," the boy stated lightly with a smirk.

"Draco, what have I told you about calling me stepmother?" she said with a wry grin.

"What? Aren't you proud of me, Stepmother?"

"You do _not_ want the answer to that. Now hurry. Your father is waiting at the lift."

Without sparing another thought to the young Auror still frozen in his place, the duo left the room for bigger and better things. However, he would forever tell everyone at the pub everything but the truth. Letting the pair leave after winning a duel against the new Malfoy wife sounded much better than his suddenly waking from his stupor ten minutes later and scurrying off, so the pub patrons didn't much mind.

* * *

Lucius was impatient. Though expected and unavoidable, it had still been a trying day. Telling so much truth was wearying, and he'd missed the pleasure of his wife's company the night before. Though he understood why she preferred to be 'summoned for questioning' at Hogwarts instead at the Manor, he was finding it increasingly uncomfortable to spend a night in his massive bed alone. 

He idly wondered if perhaps he was becoming too dependent on her. However, his better judgement quickly pushed that thought aside. Despite his former thoughts on the matter, dependency wasn't quite the evil previous experience had taught him -- at least not when it provided such benefits.

Still… wasn't it just a _bit_ too much that she'd 'rescued' him from his interrogation? She didn't come in with her wand ablaze, but she might as well have. For all his work, he was still married to a Gryffindor, and the reminder was unwelcome.

"Are you pleased now?" a snide voice interrupted his thoughts. He acknowledged Severus' presence with but a nod and a smirk.

"Very much so, though it seems my wife is in need of distraction from this mess."

"She was interrogated by Bliley."

"Ah. Such a disagreeable man." Considering he'd known, and befriended, a long list of disagreeable men, he thought his word on the subject to be quite condemning.

Severus, however, said nothing. They stood in silence for a few moments, appreciating the quiet of the little lobby that would no doubt end the moment they stepped foot into the Atrium.

"I understand that your little game was bound to end, and your wife's identity discovered. With the names set to appear on the marriage registry today, there wasn't hope for delaying the inconvenience. What I do not understand, Lucius, is your atrocious timing. A Monday?"

Lucius merely smirked and remained silent.

Fortunately, they did not have to wait much longer. Hermione's sure and steady footsteps rang down the hall long before she turned the corner into their line of sight. Draco followed at her heels like a proud and excitable puppy. It was a spectacle Severus seemed to particularly enjoy.

Severus did _not_ seem to enjoy the enthusiastic welcome Hermione gave Lucius. While he was by now accustomed to shows of affection between the two, this was downright indecent. Rather than feel a voyeur, he cleared his throat loudly, nodded at a happily smirking Draco, and took his leave. Whatever their plans now, he wanted no part in it. They were very much capable of taking over the world without his help.

Besides, he was very much of mind to begin working on the sad state of his own life. His speech to Dumbledore was already well planned, and it was only a matter of time before he'd be free of Hogwarts and the damnable children. Once his freedom was assured, he was in mind to find his own love interest. He wasn't the marrying type, but there was certainly no reason for his bed to remain cold. The scandal and his part in it almost assured that he could lure a witch with a well told back-story, possibly involving a tragic past love. It would be all too easy.

With a bounce in his step, he left the Malfoys to their own devices.

The happy couple took no notice of Severus' departure. It wasn't until Draco began to feel similarly uncomfortable that they parted and set forth. They primped in the elevator and presented a grand united front to the masses of reporters and spectators that filled the Atrium. Many questions were answered in florid tones, but they stated nothing further than the reality of their marriage, their ensuing happiness, and their disappointment with the Ministry for questioning them for the better part of a day.

When they finally managed to escape the building via the less crowded visitor's entrance, they found themselves quite happy with the quiet, empty alley in which they could finally speak without fear of being arrested or quoted.

"I think that went well," Hermione said with a happy sigh. "Certainly better than expected."

"It seemed the press was particularly pleased," Draco stated.

"Yes, but they seem to be pleased in our favour which should not be discouraged," Hermione responded with assurance. "They may be overwhelming, but their influence is invaluable."

"Certainly," Lucius agreed while patting his wife's arm. "And if they do make villains of us, there is hardly anything they could suppose that would measure up to the truth."

"Which truth would that be?" Hermione replied with a grin.

"Neither. Both. It hardly matters. The story we just told has just as much truth as any."

"Does that work in reverse as well? Do the real events contain just as many lies?"

"Of course. Otherwise we would not be so happy."

Hermione pondered on that as they slowly walked further into the shadows of the alley.

"I wonder if the true timeline will ever be revealed," she said contemplatively. "Our story was so perfectly contrived; I doubt anyone will spot the errors. It will probably be listed in the history books as fact."

"Probably. I, for one, see no point in revealing that the true circumstances included a failed attempt at Imperio, a fouled batch of Polyjuice, and a lot more blackmail than was inferred."

"We wouldn't want anyone to cast aspersions on your character."

"Most of those mistakes were Draco's, but family is still family."

The couple ignored Draco's indignant exclamation and simply nodded in agreement.

"Regardless of the actual truth, the present truth will be perfectly acceptable in advancing our plans," Lucius continued.

"I've already been recommended for an apprenticeship through the Department of Mysteries. They can hardly revoke it because of the present circumstances."

"If anything, a scandal of this magnitude can only further recommend you for the position," Lucius stated idly. "

"Yes, and once in office, it will be a simple matter to rise through the ranks. We should still be on course for Minister of Magic within ten years."

"There hasn't been a female Minister in quite some time."

"Since 1904."

"You might have some setbacks. My influence and your undoubtedly high NEWT scores will not be enough. We should be prepared."

"Yes, I know, which is why we'll all be donating our time and money to some very notable causes. Also, we'll strive to remain in the public eye and strive to maintain an unquestionably _positive_ light on all our doings as well."

"And what of our family life?"

"Draco should stay in the Manor well after Hogwarts to promote the strength of the family. Also, we should consider having children in a few years. Childless women are still heavily prejudiced."

Lucius perked up at that mention. While he didn't particularly enjoy the messiness of parenting, he did appreciate proof of his virility. As he was married to a young woman more than twenty years his junior, it was of particular importance to him.

"Of course. Draco has been wanting a brother."

"Has he now?" Hermione said with a smirk as her eyes slid to her stepson. The youngest Malfoy refused to meet her gaze, but his pink cheeks answered her question just as well.

"Very well. What do you think of the name Hugo?"

"Absolutely dreadful. I've always been partial to Ambrose."

"Perhaps…"

With an expression that promised all sorts of fun, Hermione Apparated away. Lucius smirked grandly, seemed to rise to her unspoken challenge, and Apparated as well.

Draco alone remained in the dark alley. With no witness to the event, he smiled broadly. It was perhaps the first honest smile that had dared to grace his face for years and made the pointed features less sharp.

His parents, both new and old, were happy. His future was being planned for him.

His smile slowly became a smirk before he wiped his expression clear of anything suspicious and Apparated home.

All was going according to plan.

* * *

**Fin.**


End file.
